The Hand goes to Wal Mart

I'm not sure what was wrong with me. It was a momentary lapse of reason. I had to do some quick X-Mas shopping, so for some bizarre reason I ventured to the WalMart (by Chillis on I-35) and man was the place a mad house. I stepped in and quickly wanted out, but I was sucked in by the evil WalMart trappings. It was a bad afternoon for the hand. Live and learn.

I've been naughty lately..

Santa after X-Mas, goes on bender

  I've been very naughty lately. Yup, bad to the bone(r). One of my biggest sins has been neglecting this blog the last week or so. There has been other things that has put my name on Santa's coal list, but you need not concern your perfect life with those trivial tidbits.

I've been busy flipping off the bird to crazy paisanos and those cocky Monterrey shoppers that turn Best Buy, Walmart and Academy stores into a complete zoo. But enough about them, I do apologize for not having posted anything in over a week. I promise it won't happen again (crossed fingers behind back).

Santa, don't disappoint me please, like back in X-Mas 1987 when I wanted that He-Man and Battlecat action figure, but you goofed the order and sent me Rainbow Brite instead. That was so not cool. Then, Santa, you tried blaming 'the elves were knocking back too much eggnog', but that was just lame-o.

 
So, don't goof up this time Santa-Claws. You know what's on my Christmas list. I've been good enough this year too. Just ask around all over Laredo, in all the good neighborhoods: Cantaranas, La Ladrillera, El Chacon, Azteca, even in Santa Rita. I was good this year Santa, for the most part.

I'm hungry for you

I'm hungry 4 U

(written while bored in 8th pd. Algebra class circa 1993)

You're my cupcake

You're my twinky 

You're my Duvalin

and choco-slinky.

You're my muffin

you're my banana-nut,  

I love your donut-

big round butt.

You're my pancake,

my French toast.

You're the pan dulce

I love the most.

You're my butter biscuit,

my cornbread. 

You're my cheesecake 

pastry fed.

You get me so fuckin hungry.

Rico de Quicky

Letter to my Seventeen year-old Self

(If I could go back and give some advice to myself when I was just 17 years old, this is what I would say to me.)

Dear Seventeen Year-Old "DeLaredo",

Why the hell you give dad so much of a difficult time? Listen to him more often. You don't know it YET, but he actually does know what he is talking about. So stop being an asshole with him and listen to the old man's stories without rolling your eyes.

Easy on the underground Italian horror zombie films. Not everyone likes subtitles and dropping names like Lucio Fulci just to impress people is being a horror film snob. Some people actually do enjoy Stephen King. Let them! Watch less horror films and throw in a 'chick flick' with your GF. It makes things so much easier. Believe me.

Stop quoting Public Enemy when you write your school essays for English class. You didn't grow up in Cabrini Green. Get over it. You're not Chuck D and years from now Flavor Flav will be an embarrassment on VH1. (Yeaaaah Booooyyy)

Will it kill you to get the girl some roses? During Valentine's Day, be nice, buy her some roses. I know, I know. Its a bogus holiday fabricated by the American Florist Association to sucker people to guy overpriced flowers, but girls like it. Just do it. Again, it makes things so much easier. You don't always have to be a "rebel".

And while we are on the 'rebel' topic, its OK if you participate in school activities like pep-rallies. It doesn't make you a sheep or a pawn of the state. You can still be cool and hip and still do the other things that "normal" kids are doing. You're not going to melt if you attend your high school's football game. Stop being so EMO.  Contrary to what you believe, Robert Smith is not God so stop listening to "Inbetween Days" endlessly on your Cassette Walkman.

Seventeen year old self, its 1996 and you think you hate Intocable now? You're gonna absolutely loathe them in about 10 years.

And another thing, do your fuckin homework. Don't just start your essay; complete it. Get better grades. Heck, you might even be able to get into a decent college instead of LCC.

Be nice to your parents and to your siblings. They're your family.

Yeah, yeah, I know you don't care what people think about you. But easy on the Bobby Brown act. It might be your prerogative, but that doesn't give you a license to hurt people's feelings. Be nice and kind, seventeen year old self.

Last, don't bad mouth your own city so much. Laredo is great. In about 4 years something is going to happen to you that will make you realize everything I am saying and you will find 'the purpose'. Until then, heed these words, seventeen-year old me. You will love Laredo one day, and when that day arrives, everything else will fall into place.

Sincerely,
Your 32 year old self. 

Second Base Park

There was nothing better for me in the late 90s than going to the park adjacent to RiverDrive Mall. It was a great place to take a GF and get to at least second base. Most of the time it was dark and secluded, except for the occasional "mojadito". Border Patrol vehicles were frequent passer by's as well. But heck, they didn't break my concentration. I loved that park back in the day. For some odd reason, I was down the riverbanks again earlier in the evening, and I passed by this same deteriorated park, just like I remember it from 1996. I love my city. Good times.

CarrotHead part 2: Official Trailer

Finally, a teaser trailer of my upcoming short film, CarrotHead: Part 2. Take a look below. Lots more information on the film coming soon. Patience is good, friends.

Random Lyric of the Week

"Dicen que el mejor consejo, 
es el que se da uno mismo.
Que nada es tan importante,
como un hombre decidido"

Reminiscing Over You: 1993 and Thanksgiving Dreams

WTFB! (What the Fudge Brownies!) I had me a good Thanksgiving Day weekend. Ate some bird, had some 8 dollar wine and saw some relatives I had not had the displeasure of talking to in over a decade.

Wearing a TUX for some silly prom BS

 One of them was a cousin of mine from Nvo. Laredo that I had not seen since 1998. The holidays are always a good time to catch up with some of the relatives that get lost along the way. Well, back in the day, this primo (not the one pictured above) and me would have some crazy fun all over the streets of Nvo Laredo. We were both fourteen yrs old and we thought we were the shit. In reality we were just two stupid teenagers wearing Georgetown Hoyas jerseys and UNLV caps. Fashion was not our strong suit.


In music, we would make the noise to the latest rap single, but our favorites were Pete Rock and CL Smooth. For some reason, we would trump their music out of his boombox like nobody's business. I bought that CD sometime in 1993 and for a whole 3 months I played it out so much, the thing quickly became scratched and unplayable. My cousin asked me to lend it to him and I did, knowing full well I would not see it again. It had cost me something like $15 dollars over at Talamas Music Store on Guerrero St  en el otro lado.  That was in 1993. I thought the CD was lost forever. Whenever I would see him I would ask him for my CD back, but, he always had an excuse as to why he couldn't hand it over. Well, we had a falling out in the late 90s and I had not spoken to him in a over 10 years, until yesterday. I ran into him at my aunt's house, and he saw me and gave me a huge grin using his plaqued, crooked teeth.

"Guess what I've got in my truck!" he blurted out to me before even greeting my hand. We walked out to his truck and he produced the CD of Pete Rock and CL Smooth that we both had enjoyed and the CD I had not seen since 1993! It was the same one too, because it had my signature I had put on the CD sleeve. He slammed into this CD player of his automobile and the speakers produced my most favorite rap song eeever, "They Reminisce Over You"

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Thanksgiving is MosDef a time to bring family together. It's more than just turkey and overblown, hyped-up Best Buy Sales. It's more than tired Charlie Brown specials, and gravy and corn galore. The holidays are about family, about being together and seeing the loved ones from years gone by. Its about having cheap eight dollar wine with a loved one. It's about reminiscing passed,cherished memories and looking forward to the good days ahead. It is about forgiving a cousin for sins of the past. Turkey or no turkey, Thanksgiving is a sweet time. Here is to the holidays and reminiscing over the good times.

(Editors Note: You can download this CD at this great blog, along with other classic hiphop.)

For Sale

  Driving down the street I spotted this gem of a scene. A woman was seated on a table with a 'for sale' sign right next to her. It was unclear whether it was her for sale or the air conditioner unit that was right beside her. I can almost picture this woman's husband sitting her on this table and trying to get some chump change for the perceived old hag.
     BTW, I should've bought the AC unit. My place is like an oven.

My Thanksgiving: by Maria C

My Thanksgiving

by Maria Cisneros

When I was in elementary school, I remember every Thanksgiving my teacher would assign us the task of making a turkey out of our handprints and we’d make a list of the things we were most thankful for. I wish I would’ve kept one of those assignments so that I could see exactly what I was thankful for back then. My list probably included my new Jem doll and my She-ra action figure. Nowadays, my list would include a couple of items way more significant than that. Materials possessions don’t carry much meaning; they’re necessary to make living easier and possible but the objects most precious in my life are the people in it. My most important people are as follows: my daughter, my family, and my friends.

Drag me to Hal's

It's been a long, sad week for me. I think the loss is finally sinking in quietly. I'm coming to grips with it. In the meantime, I'm being dragged out of the house over to Hal's. Grief can be harsh.

Bleeding Ranger Red

I'm still hurting inside. I'm not  ready to talk about the loss. Don't look for new posts for a couple of more days. I can't blog right now, I have to lay down and not think about it.

Furniture in Life

My protege, Maria, has left me and started her own blog. Figures. So typical. You make someone famous, then they get a taste of the good life, and they leave you in the dust in the vain hope of being the next Jenny Jones. In any case, spin by her new blog and tell her I said hi.

La Sopa que me Como

La Sopa TentaDora

by GB 

La sopa se enfria

sentada en la mesa.

Con moscas bailando por encima

y mi cuchara bailando entre el fideo.

 El apetito me engrandece

mientras la sopa se me aburre,

  pero yo sigo igual de ardiente.

Selling Out

  As I kid, I loved watching the made-for-TV movie, The Deadly Tower, based on the Charles Whitman shootings at UT back in the 60s.



 When I first watched this movie in the 80s, I missed this particular scene found above. In this scene, the hero, Ramiro Martinez, is struggling with being a Mexican-American police officer while at the same time, being true to his roots and feels inferior to his white colleagues. In the scene, he meets "Mano", a kid from the neighborhood and the scene then plays out rather strangely, something I did not pick up when I was a kid.

 Listen to the dialogue of Officer Martinez. He starts talking about 'changes' and 'working hard' instead of just complaining. Is the movie referring to the Chicano Civil Rights Movement? Is "Mano" supposed to represent the old guard, and Martinez is the new breed of Mexican-American that is committed to changes via-hard work (middle-class?) instead of just complaining (protesting)? Maybe I'm reading too much into this, or is there some sort of social commentary? You decide. Still, I enjoy this movie, and this particular scene.

BTW, "Mano" needs to have his ass kicked!

Random movie quote of the week

“im 36 years old, I have a wife, a child and a mortgage and im scared to death im turning into my father”.

Quote from my favorite movie ever. The only film that makes me cry. Talk about daddy issues. Free cookie to the person that tells us what movie its from.

The Hand does Super S Foods

I was driving down Clark St. and was passing by Super S Foods when I realized that I had never been inside that particular location since like 1988. I stopped by just to check it out (and I was having a private HEB boycott) and I realized that pretty much nothing had changed since my last visit during the Reagan era. I think they even still had the same produce on display.

 One more thing I can cross off on my list of things to do before the year ends. Yeay for me.

El Mil Usos (parte final)

One of my favorite Mexican movies is a Hector Suarez gem titled, "El Mil Usos". The acting in that movie is just superb and the storyline is fascinating and easy to follow.

The plot of the movie deals with a Mexican man from the countryside that moves to the big city (DF) in search of a job and money. After a series of misadventures and terrible luck, he hears of the opportunities to have success in the USA over with the 'gringos'. The following is the next to the final scene of this excellent movie. Special note of the great acting by the old man in the final scene. His pain just seems so real.



Also, does anyone know the name of the game that the men in the background are playing? What's it called? Also, what is it that they are drinking at the bar? It's some white, milk like substance. Just wondering.

Rangers win now face NY Yankees

For the first time in their history, the TX Rangers have won a playoff series and now they face the much hated Yankees. I celebrated with them after our Cliff Lee win and even poured champagne over my own head. It's time.

Anti-Abortion

  
Several people were out by McPherson today showing their disagreement with the legality of abortion. I guesstimate there were about 60 to 75 people holding up signs that read "Abortion Kills Children". They ranged from all ages and were standing at this particular location for about an hour. IMO, its good to see that some people still stand up for what they believe. You're free to form your own opinion.

October: Month of frights and scares

 October is such a great month. The weather is finally changing. The scorching sun begins to finally give us a break, and Halloween is just around the corner. As a kid, I loved Halloween. Scares and frights are good sometimes.

Meet the Rangers (part 2: Josh Hamilton)

According to Sports Illustrated sports writer, Tom Verducci, Josh Hamilton is the best player in baseball.  Anyone that follows the Texas Rangers can easily see why that is the case. He has speed, power, and great defensive skills. He could possible be the AL MVP this year as the most important player in the league. All of this coming from someone that was out of baseball for close to four years by being a drug junkie.

As a former number one draft pick back in 1999, Hamilton, or The Natural, as he is known, signed a $4 million dollar signing bonus. He has confessed that much of that money was blown on drugs and alcohol binges. He did not return to the Bigs till 2007 and after a long road back, he is now at the height of his career. Hopefully, The Natural can lead the Rangers deep into the playoffs, and heck, into the WS. We can only dream.

Mayor's Race

     Mayor's Race

                                                                                                                                           Comic by JBC

Don't miss the signs

Just in case your eyesight is not the greatest, the good folks at the Exxon at Los Presidentes have made a sign as big as their breakfast tacos. We all know here in Laredo, we take our tacos seriously. It be a tragedy if you missed it. Signs, signs, everywhere are signs...

She's an Actress (part 1)

She’s an Actress

By GB (dedicated to 'Elena')

She screams with rage

at the top of her lungs,

the drama queen of south Laredo.

She’s won two Emmy’s,

even an Oscar for her performance

But she’s an actress

Stares right at me and lies.

“Estaba con una amiga”.

She tells me with an evil smirk.

Hollywood is already calling her,

Gonna make her into a big star.

She cries, tears out her eyes,

That mean absolutely nothing.

She tells me she loves me,

With a wink in her eye.

Prolly tells it to all the boys.

She’s an award winning actress

You Know!

DeLaredo.Com

Sometime in early Spring 2005 I bought the domain name, DeLaredo.Com and I began a small website focusing on some local poets. I must have gotten about 13 hits on that site, most of them coming from my girlfriend at the time. However, it was one of my first websites that I actually updated on a semi-regular basis.Also, I had some videos that I shot and edited of the George Washington Charade up on there, along with other silly stuff.

For some reason or another, I did not renew the site after the first year and I lost the domain name. I guess I got bored after a while and I moved on to other things. A while back, I noticed someone else bought my old domain name and is running a site under, DeLaredo.Com and it actually looks nice and fancy. So, in the interest of nostalgia, stop on by and visit their site. Be a pal.

Rain in Laredo

Its been a somewhat pleasant change. For once we get a little rain, instead of the scorching heat that seems to always bear down over our heads. But, as expected, the rain has brought several car accidents. On my way home from work this afternoon, I spotted three minor car accidents, no doubt due to the slick streets. We Laredoans aren't used to all this crazy weather. I felt like Noah as I drove home today. A little drizzle goes a long way in this town.

Random Lyric of the week pt. 8

Everybody's lookin if ya jealous turn around
The AMG kip keeps us closa to the ground
We're gettin good grip from the 50 series tires
The Alpine's bumpin but I need the volume higher
Cuz the 808 kick drum makes the girlies get dumb
We're rollin Rainier and the jealous wanna get some
Every time we do this sucka mc's wanna battle
I'm the man they love to hate the J.R. Ewing of Seattle

 

Waiting for my stereo to arrive.

Random whatever of the week

she "had to sneak into my room, just to read my diary..."

My favorite Morissey song is "SuedeHead". I've got no idea what the lyrics are about, but its an infectious beat I rather enjoy. The song reminds me of "Elena", this one person I used to date back in the day. I ran into her at the Super S today and it was rather odd. The scene itself was surreal. Awkward really. I spoke briefly to her. Nothing major, just about the weather. As she spoke all I could think about was the lyrics of "SuedeHead". I can't stand her. It's a great little song, though.

Please remind me not to walk into Super S again. Live and learn.

Random Pinata guy (pt. 2)

r

Nunca falta, guy on roof at pinata party

Sometimes it's necessary to risk life and limb for the simple pleasure of the pinata party.  After all, whats a birthday party in Laredo, without a pinata? Might as well not have one. However, someone has to inevitably climb the roof, and we hope its not the one person that's had one too many Schaeffer lights. Pete knows we've all seen that before.

 The one guy that has no business climbing the roof is the first one that has his guarache over the rail. I've seen too many accidents and near accidents to know that Pinata on roof guy has to be rewarded and respected. Just as long as I ain't the one climbing the roof to hold the rope. I ain't putting down my Shaeffer for that!

Meet the Rangers (part 1)

The first installment of, "Meet the Rangers"

Texas Ranger's third baseman, Michael Young, is the longest tenured player on the team. His steady bat, quick glove and like-able persona make him the face of the franchise.

Michael is the Rangers' version of Tony Romo. He is of half-Mexican descent, always smiling, puts up great numbers but has yet to win anything that really counts.

He is the all-time Rangers leader in hits, and before the end of his career, he will lead the team in many offensive categories. Yet, Michael has never been to the playoffs, much less the World Series. Thought his career, the team has been mediocre at best, and have gone through some stinky seasons in the post-apocalyptic A-Rod contract debacle. This year, Michael is having another strong season as he pushes the team toward the playoffs.

If Michael leads the Ranger's to the playoffs and Tony Romo does the same for the 'Boys, then we have some serious half-Mexican representation in the DFW area. Awesome possum. Si se puede.

Funhouse: The Movie

I recently tortured my 'partner' into watching one of my favorite guilty pleasure, Tobe Hooper's Funhouse. I had to coax this person with a twelve-pack of cold, thirst quenching Schlitz, but once the film began and the beer began to frow freely, the fun and scares exploded in all directions.

The film is about a creepy carnival that comes through town and leaves mayhem in the lives of several 'teens'. Everytime I watch it, it reminds me of the WBCA carnival, or that creepy carnival that sets up over by Burlingon on Sanber. Carnies are a crazy bunch. The film itself is watchable and actually has several interesting scenes. In the words of Frank over at Cinema Gonzo, the film deals with suburbanites "forced to deal with humanity in all of it's gloriously deconstructed chaos." That is just how I feel everytime I pass by Santa Rita. Damn.

Memoirs of my Grandmother

the latest installment of our featured columnist, Maria Cisneros

Memoirs of my Grandomother

by Maria Cisneros

Often we find ourselves questioning who we are as individuals. As my father often likes to remind me, who we are as children is often the person who we truly are inside. I must say then, that I am a truly blessed and happy human being. Family is number one for me, if that point hasn’t been made already; they are the ones that have kept me sane and centered. In life, one particular person often influences us more than others. In my case, I’d have to say this person was my grandmother. She was an exceptional woman. I could write a whole book about her but I’m going to share a couple of lessons she taught me. This woman was just too awesome to keep them all to myself.

Good Eats

This eatery does not look like much from the outside, but it's actually pretty good food. Free meal to the first person that can tell me name and address of this fine local establishment.

Aldo Tatangelo Grave

Sandra Cisneros in my Bed

Sandra Cisneros in my Bed

by GB

My First grown-up crush as short but sweet

Sweet, like chocolate-frosted donuts at 6am.

I fell madly in love with Sandra Cisneros.

She was a real writer y "bien cabrona y berrinchuda".

You Bring out the Mexican in Me, I first read

in 1997 and immediately fell at her feet.

For an entire week we had a torrid love affair.

I immersed myself in all her works.

She the author, I the reader.

I would take her to bed,

when I read her books before I went to sleep.

She would make me laugh, cry and even punch the wall.

I loved to taste her prose, so sweet,

as the mango on the street on which she lived.

But then, something happend.

I fell in love with Ana Castillo.

And not being one for threesomes,

I no longer read with Sandra.

And well, I guess Sandra Cisneros got upset

 Because she didn't call me anymore.

Random Lyric of the day

"Oye la gente,
hablan, gritan, como dicen,
comentan,
de todas esas canciones que yo hize.
A boom, boom, bam, bam
muchos vienen y se van
pero yo me quedado 
y los otros DONDE ESTAN!"


My favorite song. Dedicated to Elena. Hear it here.

"You Can Fight City Hall"

"You Can Beat City Hall" Bill Moyers CBS News 1978 from rsal on Vimeo.

Fall, Flags and Football

Fall, Flags and Football

by Maria Cisneros

Every school year, around this time, I start hearing drums whenever I wake up in the morning. I even hear them when I get home from work. At first I think it’s all in my head, but then I start looking around my little neighborhood and notice that off in the distance a group of people are gathered. I see them pause and then I see them follow a leader. The leader is armed with a whistle and a baton and then that’s when it all clicks: marching band season is on and the football games are coming up. Aside from the fact that I should already be used to this (I’ve lived here for over fifteen years) listening to the whole array of musical instruments makes me feel like it’s already mid-October and football season is already in full swing. It blurs the fact that it’s still August and hot as hell outside. Let me tell you one thing about me: I love football but I especially love what the season entails. It marks the beginning of my yearly trek down memory lane. Let me explain a bit:

Shortstop Burgers and Golden Chicken

When I moved down to Laredo in 1992, two of my favorite places to eat were Golden Chicken and Shortstop Burgers. Don't blame me for terrible taste in food. Rather, blame my aunt and uncle. They would always drag us down to eat at these two places during the weekends. Now, these places have both closed down or changed names, but the bitter taste of their flavore still remains in my mouth years after.

Shortstop Burgers had a location, that I can recall, on the intersection of Zapata Hwy. and Loop 20. Their burgers would always be semi-burned and their salty fries were always a nuisance to my taste buds. But because they were inexpensive, Shorstop Burgers always had a long line of waiting customers, especially on Friday nights. They closed down sometime in the mid 90s, I believe. Now, a Tortas Yukon stands where the famous Shortstop Burgers were once located.

This is similar to the one I remember. Not the exact one though.

The other eatery that I cherish from my terrible teen years, was Golden Chicken, located downtown across the street from Int'l. Bridge 2. Again, as kids we were taken there because of its inexpensiveness. The chicken at said restaurant was so greasy, it made Church's look like a healtshake. I even recall that Golden Chicken had this cheesy TV commercial, a parody of Ghostbuster's "Who you gonna call":

"Dime a donde vas. A Golden Chicken!  Pollito Caliente. Sabor Diferente. Dime a donde vas. A Golden Chicken!"

I don't recall the exact lyrics of the TV commercial, but from what I recall, I would see it on KLDO back sometime in 92' or 93. Every wedding or Quincera that I attended between those years, had the obligatory Golden Chicken as the food of choice. I miss the 90s.

Random Lyrics pt. 7

"Elvis, was a hero to most
but he never meant shit to me you see
straight up racist the sucker was
simple and plain
motherfu** him and John Wayne."

Y2K Compliant

I went to the doctor a week ago for a routine check-up. This doctor had the latest equipment. So much so that all his equipment, including the examination table is Y2K ready. Good! That makes me feel at ease.

Life's Expectations, and other Shortcomings

(DeLaredo is pleased to announce that we have added a columnist and featured contributor to our silly blog. Meet Ms. Mary C. Read her initial work, Life's Expectations, below.)

When we’re younger and naïve, we have certain expectations about our life and how we want it all to turn out. When you get older and the veil starts to slowly slip away, you notice that things in life almost never turn out the way you want them to. Sure, they may come out close to how you want them to be but never exactly the way you planned. I remember when I was younger and was constantly writing about what I was going to do with my life and who I was going to spend it with. I knew exactly where I wanted to attend college and exactly what kind of guy I was going to marry. I even had it down to what age I was going to get married and at what age I was going to have my first baby. Yup, didn’t turn out like that at all. I know the saying goes that things happen for a reason. Sure they do. Let me tell you what I had planned out for myself: 

The Hand goes to the Broncos' game

    Several days ago, due to the renewed interest in Broncos' baseball, I went down and experienced a game a the ol' ballpark. I will provide you proof and pictures, mostly of my hand at said event. For the first installment, I will tell you of my latest trip down to Veteran's Field to watch the Broncos and their newest player, Mr Juice himself, Jose Canseco.

The Hand at Broncos' game

I arrived to the game at the top of the 1st inning and waited in line to buy the tickets to the biggest sporting event that Laredo has seen in quite a while. Already, eager fans were filling up the stands with an overflowing anticipation and the Canseco buzz was stirring among the faithful that had gathered to get a glimpse of their childhood hero and one-time MLB superstar.

Tickets, $5.00

     Being the frugal chump that I am, I bought the least expensive tickets available, general admission seating in the nose bleed section and the only place a true fan ever sits. I made my way into the park and up to find my seat, but not before making a stop to purchase a tall,frosty beverage that would quench my thirst in the scorching hot Laredo summer.

The Hand does a Bud at the game

I talk baseball with my companion, the only person I was able to con into going with me, when out of the corner of my eye a wickedly hit foul ball is hurling at me at the speed of light and my instantaneous reaction is to rise up out my seat, stretch out beyond other spectators, and make a one handed glove catch for the ages, much to the delight of the amazed crowd that begins to cheer the unanticipated catch.

I was glad I took a glove. I had never caught I foul ball before. It was actually kinda cool.

The foul ball I caught

Unfortunately, Jose Canseco went 0 for 3 in the time that I was at the game. I did have to leave early, so I did not stay until the end to get an autograph from the former Bash Brother. His T-shirts and other memorabilia were selling quite well, and the turn-out at the park was rather impressive. Canseco was cheered loudly every time he went up to the plate and his massive frame still impresses the ladies, including my companion, who wanted to get a closer  view of his bulk before I spoke some sense into her.

Jose Canseco in the Bronco's dugout

In all sincerity, seeing Canseco play in person was a pretty cool event. The ten year old inside me was having a sweet blast and I could not help but search the field for Mark McGwire or Rickey Henderson and the other Oakland A's of 1989. That was a rad year.

However, as I finished my second Bud and as the fifth inning came to a close, a disturbing memory blasted back into my soul and I remembered why I have such a deep hatred and resentment toward Jose Canseco and his baseball-head bouncing ways. The foul memory opened a deep wound in heart that I believed, errenously,  had been healed. That, however, was not the case.

In the next week, you can read about said event in my life. Hopefully, I can bring myself to write about it. It just might be therapeutical.

Jose Canseco update

 It seems that Jose is doing good enough in Laredo. According to his twitter account, he hit a home run in his first at-bat in Laredo. He's asking for support for the Broncos. I'm going out to the game next time. C u there.

BTW, Jose seems to have 350,00 followers on Twitter. I on the other hand, have 76. It's a tight race to the finish line. 

Canseco to play for Broncos?

Great. Jose Canseco is bringing his circus to Laredo. Fun. Maybe he can pitch for the Broncos too.

New color and design

This purple color for the background fits my current mood very nicely. I'm not too sure what that means. Ponder that for a while.

Rangers vs. Yankees tonite

Rangers vs. Yankees tonite at 7:30 pm. If Rangers lose tonite, please don't talk to me for two days.

La Cumbia Metalera (sketch)

One of the funniest sketches I've seen in a while. It's a mock video of some heavy metal goth dudes doing a cumbia, complete with a funny interview. I'm not too sure if the band actually exists or not, but check out the video and song. I kinda like the cumbia metalera. I gotta download it to my Zune.

Laredo by Band of Horses

"Gonna take a trip to Laredo
Gonna take a dip in the lake
Oh, I'm at a crossroads with myself
I don't got no one else"




 So I just heard this neat little ditty song. Just the fact that it mentions "Laredo"
in the lyrics is cool enough.

Just One of those Days

Just one of those Days

(by GB )

I met a Venezuelan chick

at a Vietnamese restaurant.

We ate some hot enchiladas,

that we washed down with cold Heinekens.

We danced Lambada to Sinatra records

But she then left on the first train to London.

It was all too odd though,

for we were in Cotulla.

Rangers Update

I know that in these parts football is king. Also, this is Spurs and Cowboys territory. Sure, I guess. But even though you prolly didn't ask for it, I'm going to give you a Texas Rangers update.

Random Lyrics (pt. 7)

Time after time I put my life on the line
But I ain't committed no crime, so take what you can find
Forget what I say cos I'll keep running away
I only live for today, but I'm one day behind


(words I live by)

The Good , the Bad, and the House of the Devil

Yeah, you know, The House of the Devil, right. No, not that creepy house in the Heights. No, tampoco that house that your abuelita sweared to you was where La LLorona would snatch and slap "wuerkitos que resongan." I dont mean THAT house.

I mean the killer, awesome, rad movie, "The House of the Devil". I had previously mentioned this film in our hermana blog, but I had to mention it again, due to the wicked fact that my favorite horror movie-mayhem, machete-wielding blogger, FinalGirl, decided to review it.

More awesome than that, it has an official VHS release that made me go wicked crazy on my VCR. So, if you are just asking to yourself, "I wonder what I can buy DeLaredo, as a token of appreciation for his wonderful, insightful and downright witty posts", then here is your answer.
Just click on over to Amazon, and make me one happy idiot-blogger. I seriously have to grow my stagnant VHS collection.

OK, sorry for the off-topic rant. You can go back to your regularly scheduled programming, already in progress.

Aguacates at El Rancherito

My sister was making some tostadas so we dashed over to "El Rancherito" for some avocados. We headed over to their "fresh" produce section and were less than thrilled with their selection.

At $1.39 per aguacate, it's a WTF moment. Not only are they expensive, they don't look too good tampoco.

Beer by the pack

At this southside store, don't even think about buying beer by the can. You MUST buy the six pack. Got that?

Football border Battle II

Saturday night and Schlitz Beer

It's Saturday night and you have your groove on. All that is missing is some cold, thirst-quenching Schlitz to put the cap on a good week. So, enjoy. Eat your carne asada, dance your rancheras and kiss your 'vieja' some hot loving. It's Saturday night, a pachangear.

Working Hard

Another day of hard work under the hot Laredo sun. Life is hard.

On days like this, a cold Schlitz hits the spot.

Dr. Ikes, Somos de aqui

Where would I be without Dr. Ikes? It's my hardware store of choice. I sure do miss those Don Chema commercials though.

And that radio/tv jingle, "ay, ay, ay, me gusta dr. Ikes". That thing can stay in your head for days.

(photo found on flickr)

Dale Shile al TAKS

Sometimes kids need motivation that can help them vanquish foes such as the much maligned TAKS. What can I say? One has to speak the language they understand.

(Sign found a a local school and sent to me)

Nuevo Laredo Edecanes vs. Mami Chula Girls

So I gotta an idea. Hear me out .We take the best of Los Dos Laredos; Edecanes of Nuevo Laredo selling beer and Mami Chula girls from Laredo, TX selling beer and pit them together in a dancing frenzy and see who comes out on top.



Who is the best from Los Dos Laredos? We can have ourselves a beer run smackdown. My pesos are on the Nuevo Laredo gals. View the above video an tell us where your money is at.

(note: Video was randomly found on utube.)

Bordertownblues Interiew

A great big thanks to BorderTownBlues for the interview. Hopefully I don't come across as a huge dork. But come to think of it, that's just what I am. Ouch!

Next stop, I'm doing Meet the Press. That's right booooooy!

Carlos y Jose

So you're having a little 'carne asada' and you invite your compadres over and bust out the Schlitz. Trouble is, you don't have any corridos. Oh my! That could be a problem. But fret not, just navigate over to El Rincon de Julz blog and you can score some pretty neat CD's off mediafire. Download them to your convenience.

Legality issues aside, its a great way to increase your music collection, then that way you can finally ease off KC and the Sunshine Band!

Here is a sample corrido cd from the good folks, Carlos y Jose. If you wish to download it, you can find it here. Now, just don;t forget to invite me! (y di no a la pirateria)

Deja Vu by Shazz!

Deja Vu by Shazz!

Sick sound song that reminds me of singing on saggy Saturdays with Sarah. So sweet.

Riding el Metro while wearing a Tux

(pic from H. Benavides, off Flickr)

I love the pic above. A newly wed couple, smiling energetically, but a Laredo Metro Bus zooms by in the background. It seems that the bus is waiting for them to hop on and take off. Is the bus a metaphor for something? I hope their ride is not a bumpy one.

New Elk at Nuevo Laredo Zoo

Nuevo Laredo has a zoo? Sounds like a line for a bad joke. I haven't been 'al otro lado' in over two years. I do miss the city though. Going over there to visit family, play basketball at "La Unidad", going to bailes at "El Senorial", attending every quincenera I could, damn those were the days.

When I heard they had a zoo, it made me realize how I haven't gone there in a while. And with a good excuse, I know. Still, I do miss going. I wouldn't mind checking out their zoo. (and visiting Blanca Segovia, my GF from 1998. Maybe she's still single.)

Missing Elena

Time is not a friend of anyone I know. As for myself, I hate the bastard.

I was cleaning out my closet today, and I ran across and picture of Elena. I hadn't thought about her in years. Not since 2003, to be more precise. At one time, she captured my imagination and trapped my soul in her two little, soft hands. She awakened my spirit and showed me a world I had only seen in badly dubbed foreign films. However, circumstances took hold of our destinies and we parted ways. I ran across across a picture of her today. She is smiling, staring right at me, her eyes laughing and her soul, naked and true. As I saw the picture, I missed her with the strength of a thousand tears. A clear picture formed in mind of the last time I truly saw her.

Elena had answers for me. She had answers for questions I didn't even know I had. She represented everything about my uncertain youth. When I was 21 years old, Elena saved my life. For some unforeseen reason, I missed her today. Missed her immensely.

Or maybe I missed being 21 years old. Maybe I just missed 1999 and having the world at my feet. Maybe I just missed being young and afforded my mistakes. Did I miss her, or the thought of her? Maybe I just missed being that person I used to be. Maybe I just missed having my life uncomplicated and deliciously spelled out.

I missed Elena today, but there is no going back.

(I usually don't get too personal on here, but since its my blog, I can do as I wish, so get used to it)