Just One of those Days

Just one of those Days

(by GB )

I met a Venezuelan chick

at a Vietnamese restaurant.

We ate some hot enchiladas,

that we washed down with cold Heinekens.

We danced Lambada to Sinatra records

But she then left on the first train to London.

It was all too odd though,

for we were in Cotulla.

Rangers Update

I know that in these parts football is king. Also, this is Spurs and Cowboys territory. Sure, I guess. But even though you prolly didn't ask for it, I'm going to give you a Texas Rangers update.

Random Lyrics (pt. 7)

Time after time I put my life on the line
But I ain't committed no crime, so take what you can find
Forget what I say cos I'll keep running away
I only live for today, but I'm one day behind


(words I live by)

The Good , the Bad, and the House of the Devil

Yeah, you know, The House of the Devil, right. No, not that creepy house in the Heights. No, tampoco that house that your abuelita sweared to you was where La LLorona would snatch and slap "wuerkitos que resongan." I dont mean THAT house.

I mean the killer, awesome, rad movie, "The House of the Devil". I had previously mentioned this film in our hermana blog, but I had to mention it again, due to the wicked fact that my favorite horror movie-mayhem, machete-wielding blogger, FinalGirl, decided to review it.

More awesome than that, it has an official VHS release that made me go wicked crazy on my VCR. So, if you are just asking to yourself, "I wonder what I can buy DeLaredo, as a token of appreciation for his wonderful, insightful and downright witty posts", then here is your answer.
Just click on over to Amazon, and make me one happy idiot-blogger. I seriously have to grow my stagnant VHS collection.

OK, sorry for the off-topic rant. You can go back to your regularly scheduled programming, already in progress.

Aguacates at El Rancherito

My sister was making some tostadas so we dashed over to "El Rancherito" for some avocados. We headed over to their "fresh" produce section and were less than thrilled with their selection.

At $1.39 per aguacate, it's a WTF moment. Not only are they expensive, they don't look too good tampoco.

Beer by the pack

At this southside store, don't even think about buying beer by the can. You MUST buy the six pack. Got that?

Football border Battle II

Saturday night and Schlitz Beer

It's Saturday night and you have your groove on. All that is missing is some cold, thirst-quenching Schlitz to put the cap on a good week. So, enjoy. Eat your carne asada, dance your rancheras and kiss your 'vieja' some hot loving. It's Saturday night, a pachangear.

Working Hard

Another day of hard work under the hot Laredo sun. Life is hard.

On days like this, a cold Schlitz hits the spot.

Dr. Ikes, Somos de aqui

Where would I be without Dr. Ikes? It's my hardware store of choice. I sure do miss those Don Chema commercials though.

And that radio/tv jingle, "ay, ay, ay, me gusta dr. Ikes". That thing can stay in your head for days.

(photo found on flickr)

Dale Shile al TAKS

Sometimes kids need motivation that can help them vanquish foes such as the much maligned TAKS. What can I say? One has to speak the language they understand.

(Sign found a a local school and sent to me)

Nuevo Laredo Edecanes vs. Mami Chula Girls

So I gotta an idea. Hear me out .We take the best of Los Dos Laredos; Edecanes of Nuevo Laredo selling beer and Mami Chula girls from Laredo, TX selling beer and pit them together in a dancing frenzy and see who comes out on top.



Who is the best from Los Dos Laredos? We can have ourselves a beer run smackdown. My pesos are on the Nuevo Laredo gals. View the above video an tell us where your money is at.

(note: Video was randomly found on utube.)

Bordertownblues Interiew

A great big thanks to BorderTownBlues for the interview. Hopefully I don't come across as a huge dork. But come to think of it, that's just what I am. Ouch!

Next stop, I'm doing Meet the Press. That's right booooooy!

Carlos y Jose

So you're having a little 'carne asada' and you invite your compadres over and bust out the Schlitz. Trouble is, you don't have any corridos. Oh my! That could be a problem. But fret not, just navigate over to El Rincon de Julz blog and you can score some pretty neat CD's off mediafire. Download them to your convenience.

Legality issues aside, its a great way to increase your music collection, then that way you can finally ease off KC and the Sunshine Band!

Here is a sample corrido cd from the good folks, Carlos y Jose. If you wish to download it, you can find it here. Now, just don;t forget to invite me! (y di no a la pirateria)

Deja Vu by Shazz!

Deja Vu by Shazz!

Sick sound song that reminds me of singing on saggy Saturdays with Sarah. So sweet.

Riding el Metro while wearing a Tux

(pic from H. Benavides, off Flickr)

I love the pic above. A newly wed couple, smiling energetically, but a Laredo Metro Bus zooms by in the background. It seems that the bus is waiting for them to hop on and take off. Is the bus a metaphor for something? I hope their ride is not a bumpy one.

New Elk at Nuevo Laredo Zoo

Nuevo Laredo has a zoo? Sounds like a line for a bad joke. I haven't been 'al otro lado' in over two years. I do miss the city though. Going over there to visit family, play basketball at "La Unidad", going to bailes at "El Senorial", attending every quincenera I could, damn those were the days.

When I heard they had a zoo, it made me realize how I haven't gone there in a while. And with a good excuse, I know. Still, I do miss going. I wouldn't mind checking out their zoo. (and visiting Blanca Segovia, my GF from 1998. Maybe she's still single.)

Missing Elena

Time is not a friend of anyone I know. As for myself, I hate the bastard.

I was cleaning out my closet today, and I ran across and picture of Elena. I hadn't thought about her in years. Not since 2003, to be more precise. At one time, she captured my imagination and trapped my soul in her two little, soft hands. She awakened my spirit and showed me a world I had only seen in badly dubbed foreign films. However, circumstances took hold of our destinies and we parted ways. I ran across across a picture of her today. She is smiling, staring right at me, her eyes laughing and her soul, naked and true. As I saw the picture, I missed her with the strength of a thousand tears. A clear picture formed in mind of the last time I truly saw her.

Elena had answers for me. She had answers for questions I didn't even know I had. She represented everything about my uncertain youth. When I was 21 years old, Elena saved my life. For some unforeseen reason, I missed her today. Missed her immensely.

Or maybe I missed being 21 years old. Maybe I just missed 1999 and having the world at my feet. Maybe I just missed being young and afforded my mistakes. Did I miss her, or the thought of her? Maybe I just missed being that person I used to be. Maybe I just missed having my life uncomplicated and deliciously spelled out.

I missed Elena today, but there is no going back.

(I usually don't get too personal on here, but since its my blog, I can do as I wish, so get used to it)

DaleShine.Net Stickers

DaleShine.Net! I love it. Pure genius.

Saw a post over at LaSanbe.com regarding a daleshine.net website that is getting into some pretty sticky situations. They are selling bumper stickers with Laredo's most famous tagline, "un besito pa' todas mis haters". It's so damn cool I found myself asking, "Why didn't I think of it?"
So, I'm gonna buy me some of those stickers to give away here on my site. So 'stick around', Lol.
Too funny.

Mami Chula's Friday Night

I just had to see what all the local ruckus was about concerning Mami Chulas and other similar beer run establishments, so I took a drive to the southside to get an up close and personal view of the place.

Also, I was feeling thirsty, it being a Friday night and all.

Long lines at Mami Chulas to buy a six pack of Bud, for obvious reasons. I guess its not the 90's anymore in Laredo.

FYI, I might have to make another cross-town drive tonight for another twelve pack. Thing is, they have quick fast service at Mami Chulas. I keep telling that to myself. Uhm, yeah.

Radio La Villa

Surfing around I stumbled upon a blog, despieratanuevolaredo.com
It seems that they have a radio link and a cafe spot across the border.
Stop by and tell them I sent ya.

LoneStar Not working

"Lone Star not Working" Damn!

Are there any words that are worse to read than those above? They crush your soul and break your spirit.

Lone Star not working! Damn.

Some people might have to get a job now.

"Lazy people not working". Ouch! Now, that sign I want to read.

Tremenda Restaurante pt. 2...and

People in this town can't spell. English or Spanish, it doesn't really matter.

I'll let the pictures speak for themselves on this one. No need for any un-witty comments.

Tremenda Restaurante

It was a long, crazy night and I needed some food. I stumbled into my truck and drove down to a taco stand close to the corner of Lafayette and Sanber, called Tremenda Restaurant. The food was decent, the prizes surprising, but the company was predictable. However, on some nights, a change from Taco Palenque is always welcomed. Noches tremendas.

TKO Follies continue

While I no longer frequent TKO Bar, on San Bernardo, I still believe that their food is pretty decent. However, their spelling still comes up short.

Deserts or Desserts?

Just check out their choice of "desserts" below. I think they are trying to sell you the Gobi and Sahara version of their 'deserts'.
Mmm, I think I will stick with chocolate cake for now. I know this is Laredo and all, but, come on.

Almost back

I' m still trying to settle back in. Almost done. Don't fret too much friends.

Gone Fishing

I'll be offline for the next 8 to 10 days while I move. Be back soon. Don't get mad.

No esperes que manana vuelva

No esperes que mañana vuelva porque no lo haré!

It was sometime in late 1990 or early 1991 and I was down visiting my cousins in Laredo. At the time,I had a Sony Walkman Cassette that I carried everywhere and my primo let me borrow his copy of La Mafia's tape, 'Con tanto amor'.

I heard the track 'No lo Hare' for the first time that summer, and since then I was hooked. I hadn't heard that cassette in close to 20 years, but behold the power of the internet and semi-illegal file sharing, I ran across a digital copy of it.

I remember 1991 and me walking down the south-side of Laredo, walkman in my ears, with the wind in my face, sun on my back and enjoying being 12 years old. Good times, good times.

(disclaimer: I did not upload this myself. Downloading music illegally is not good, friends.)

http://hotfile.com/dl/36415862/187ec19/La_mafia_-_Con_Tanto_Amor_1990.rar.html

Comprando en Laredo, TX

Porque comprar en Laredo no es como lo pintan

Doesn't this guy have the face that he just committed a very serious upsy?

-"Uy, I want to buy that state of the art, 1990, refurbished Lasonic stereo, pero nomas traigo pesos".

Don't you hate when that happens.

Man, now I feel like doing some downtown shopping. Vamos?

Tano_ Jado

You might have seen this picture on other blogs, but I just had to re-post it on here for I find it somewhat funny. It seems local hooligans/criminal kids, defaced and graffitied the political sign of my favorite baseball player turned politico. Tano_jado (esta enojado) sure goes over well, especially after his political loss. Now someone please arrest and punish the culprits please.

Streets of Laredo

Trying to cross the dusty, crazy streets of Laredo ain't no easy feat. It's not 1966 anymore and Laredo's streets are just bustling with cars and crime. Yes sir, this ain't your grandpa's Laredo anymore.

"Un besito para todas las haters" part 2

Just when you thought you had heard the last of the 'dale shine girls', along comes more. These two young ladies have turned into local-quasi celebrities to such a degree that I've seen people use Twitter to announce a sighting of these two, now infamous, girls. Moreover, you can find many more parodies of them on youtube, in everything from a Dale Shine Christmas Special, How I met the Dale Shine girls to my favorite, Dale Shine Remix by Dj Knockout. It makes you laugh, heck it makes you realize the scary power of being a viral hit on youtube.

Dang, sometimes its hard shaking off one's own popularity and infamous press. Just ask the Dale Shine girls.

This is the 'dale shine remix'. Not bad actually.



A Dale Shine Christmas Special, complete with the best use of Laredotalk I've ever heard. College degree not required (heck GED is over-educated for this video). In their words, "ta machin". Watch at your own risk. At the end of it, you'll feel 10 IQ points dumber.

Nuevo Laredo Postcard

Why is it that Laredo (and N. Laredo) look so damn magical in postcards? Was photoshop around in the 60s? Where is the graffiti? Where is the thrash thrown everywhere? Where are the hoodlums and shootouts. I guess the 60s were good to Laredo. By the look of this postcard, Nuevo Laredo was a tree huggers dream! Sweebread.com

Break the beer, go for broke

I love going to the local 'meat markets' for they are sooo good at making me chuckle. Here is one I encountered and it almost didn't make me laugh. After knocking over a sixpack of Budlight bottles, my accident, I thought I had to pay for the damn cheap beer, but, no, alas they did not break. Good for me too, for I can't bring myself to pay for that skunky beer.

But, seriously, this is why people go broke drinking beer. Be careful when you choose your beer. You break you pay. Fair enough, I guess.

(found at Rancherito Meat Market)

La Coneja at the ranch

Well, la coneja finally passed and I must say I actually had a fair enough time alongwith my friends and family. Not like past conejas, of like say, 1993, but good enough. Cascarrones, confetti, pinatas, carnes, cheves, yes it was good all around.

We didn't go very far either to have our celebration, just a wanky park around the corner from our house. Still, we had our share of fun under the Easter sun.


So many people I know went to the 'ranch' for Easter Sunday, and I guess I'm just bitter and jealous, but you know that like everyone else in this town, when they say they are going to the "ranch", they really just mean a barren, treeless plot of land in the middle of the monte with one crazy mesquite sticking out of some random place. Apoco now? Dime tengo o no tengo la razon?

We didn't go to the 'ranch' this Coneja. We have a local park around the corner from our houses.
Its just as barren and treeless as those damn ranches!

Random Lyric part 4

"Ain't it hard when you discover that
she really wasn't where its at
after she took from you everything she could steal"

Two movie tickets to the third person that sends me the author and song! Go 4 it!
Email above

Random Laredenses pt. 6

Here at DeLaredo, we like to make you famous. So careful, because we steal (ahem borrow) images from all over.

Laredo in 1961

For some reason, Laredo always seems nicer in vintage postcards. I'm not too sure why that is. Here is an example below.

1961 Comet In Front Of Sands Motor Hotel, Laredo, Texas

This is a postcard of the Sands Motor Hotel in Laredo, Texas, with a 61 Comet out front1961

This place here just seems like paradise, almost as if Frankie and the Rat Pack just finished playing there. Drive by there tonight though, and its a scary scene. Five bucks to the first person that can tell me the intersection that this is located.

Ode to my ZeigenBock

Ode to my ZeigenBock
by Gabito Marquez

The tall, cold and golden bottle
frozen in my hand,
delighting my sensations
that makes it hard to stand

Give me wings to fly, Ol' Ziggie
So I can reach the clouds
Anoint me strength to triumph
among the faceless crowds.

No prestamos el telefono

It seems that over at Cakeland on the southside (by Cigarroa High), they don't let you borrow their phone. Asi que ni preguntes eh! There is a reason I mostly frequent Pano's!

Ropa Sucia Only

Pic as found at my friend's house. It's pretty self-explanatory.

Parade Pics

Don't hate me too much. I had wanted to put up these pictures on the day of the big parade, but I have so many other better (jiji) things to do, I had to put it off, until now. I know Feb. is over and the parade has come and gone. Nonetheless, enjoy some simple pics of some Bigwigs at the GW Parade.

TKO Notice

TKO, the bar and grill on San Bernardo, closed down temporarily while they were undergoing some remodeling. They left the following notice on their door for their patrons to read. Enjoy! Drink a shot for each grammar and spelling mistake.

Parade parking (sign)

I had been very busy and could not post anything in the last week. You know how it goes sometimes.

In any case, in the next few days I will post some of the Washington Parade Pics that I was able to take. For some really strange reason, I found myself downtown on the Saturday of the parade, doing some totally unrelated matters, so while I was waiting for a friend to arrive from Nvo. Laredo, I was able to take some snapshots. Sweetbread.com

Parkin
g was tough to spell and to find.

Looking 4 Writers

This is it! This is the chance you have been waiting for. Want to be part of one of the best local blogs? I'm currently taking applications in my search for writers willing to contribute funny, witty or informational posts to my blog. I have a growing number of daily readers. Get your thoughts, ideas and opinions exposed. Want to be a part of our team, write to us at the address below.

Your Love (cover by Dead City Sunday)

"Your Love" by The Outfield is probably my favorite 80's song. Everytime it comes on the radio, I sing along to it.

Surfing around on utube, I stumbled upon an acoustic version of this song by a band named Dead City Sunday. It's not bad at all. Tell us what you think.

Six things I want to do this year

I know that it's a bit late for New Year's resolutions, but heck, I've been busy this past month. I've been here and there, just getting things done. However, there are several things on my to do list this year, that I have been putting off, but no more! Yes sir, its a new me and a new beginning. So, here are several of the things on my list that I will hopefully get a chance to do.

DeLaredo's List of things to do in 2010:

6) Visit the TAMIU planeterium.
I have been meaning to go to the planetarium to take my daughter, but everytime we're on our way, something comes up. When it's not one thing its another. We finally get something really neat and educational, here in Laredo, and we need to take advantage of it. I'm totally going before the end of the moment.


5) Buy a Republic of the Rio Grande flag
As you prolly don't know, I'm very Laredo proud. What other way to show off my Laredo and south Texas pride, than to fly the colors of our Rio Grande republic, the old red, white and black. According to Wikipedia, the short-lived republic lasted from January 17 to November 6, 1840. Good times, I'm sure they were. This year, I'll hop down to the Rio Grande museum downtown and wave the flag, proudly, outside my house. Feel free to do the same. We can start a trend, then a rebellion, cede from the union and elect Sarah as our president. I like tea anyway.


4) Hold a demonstration against WBCA Ol' George Parade
There's just no going around it, the WBCA is plain Evil, with a capital E. WBCA's events are bad history, terrible geography and have a misplaced sense of nationalism. The whole darn spectacle makes Laredo look ridiculous and the inaccurate geography makes us look foolish. Sure it's a great way for the elite to show off their wealth and splurge on overly expensive gowns, but someone has to have a demonstration against this racial nonsense. I love ol' George and I love the US, but I'm not too sure he wouldn't enslave me if he were around today. So, if you want to participate in my demonstration against the WBCA and all its evilness, raise your hand and sign up. I'll pass you a beret.

3) Blog about Laredo's best beer run
I've been meaning to do it for a while now, but I always end up doing something else. I want to drive around town and blog about the local beer runs and drive thru's and review each one. Which has the best selection of beer? Which one has the best hoochie girls in skimpy skirts? Which one are you less likely to get shot at? All vital questions I always ask myself. Stick around and I'll get to it.

2) Go to a Buck's game
I laughed out loud when I first heard hockey was coming to Laredo. "It won't catch on", the skeptics cried. Shockingly, it's still going strong. Too bad I've never been to a game. I'm a terrible Laredoan. In truth, I'd rather go to a Bronco's game, but they just don't win. The Buck's had a winner right out the gate, winning championships and endearing themselves to the fans. I never jumped on the bandwagon, but maybe I'll make time this month and catch a game. Hockey in the desert? Who would've thought?

1) Attend the Great Washington Parade
Don't throw tomatoes at me, but I've never been to the grand parade. The entire thing has always seemed silly to me. But the Washington Parade puts Laredo on the map. It's the event of the season. The entire city stops, just for this parade. Even yours truly, has gotten the day off from work, because of this damn thing. It's a local holy day, a day of reckoning. If the Magi were around today, they'd travel here, specifically for this grand festive day. Sure the WBCA is evil. Sure it's racially divisive and horrendous in its geographical capacity, but its a day of fun, of family, of food. Its a day of floats and ferries, with no need to fight and cry foul. This year I'm going to do it! By golly, this year I'm going to the parade and I'm gonna like it! You with me? Sign up and join me at the tailgate party during the parade. It's time we do some live blogging from the biggest event of the year!!!