"Oh My Laredo" essay by Linda Mabry

Back in 2007 I was one of the persons responsible for the now defunct website, DeLaredo.net. One of our contributors went by the name of Linda Mabry and she wrote several great articles and essays about living and growing up in Laredo. One of them is found below. It is titled "Oh my Laredo" from the DeLaredo.Net archives. Enjoy.

What’s wrong with Laredo? , everything and nothing is my first thought regarding this intricate yet ever evolving question. Most people were not surprised when that now infamous story came out about 3 years ago which literally proclaimed Laredo, Texas the city with the poorest “quality of life” in all of the United States! I have always believed that Laredo, like most cities, could improve in more ways than one but personally thought the title of “Worst City” was a bit harsh, unjust and wrong. Amazingly, for days I wondered how all of those towns with nothing but dirt roads and a Dairy Queen had escaped the list, and how these so called “journalists” didn’t choose one of the many cities in Texas that seem to come straight out of a Quentin Tarantino film, but yet are functioning “cities” even though they look like the typical ghost towns. (continue reading it here)

More Random Laredenses (part 4)

Lingerie?? WTFB! What bar is that at? This sure ain't at the TKO!!!

Following C. J. Wilson

I have finally done it. I decided to follow a 'celebrity' on Twitter. I have gone to the dark side I know. I have gone down the slippery road that leads to destruction. Next thing I know, I will be standing at the check out line at Super S Foods and reading People Magazine and that Mexican rag TV Noticias. How lame-o is that!

But I digress, back to the subject of this rant. I've been on Twitter for a while but the only people I do follow on there are people I actually know in the real “offline” world. I don't follow celebrities or other like minded fools that believe themselves to be important. For all I know, these celebs prolly have some handler, errand boy-gopher write the tweets for them. What do I know. But today I finally did it. I added a celebrity (somewhat) and I feel like that first time I finished a can of Tecate beer. Accomplished.

I decided to follow Ranger's pitching reliever CJ Wilson. He claims to tweet from the bullpen right before he is shoved into the game (and usually blows the lead by giving up three runs). Sure enough, I was watching on TV and as he was about to be brought into the game, he sent out a tweet. Sweetbread! I guess now I can see now how some losers can follow Ashton Kutcher on Twitter. I guess....mmm no, maybe not. Sorry.

My date: Update as promised

I hadn't had time to give you the adequate update regarding my “date” about a week and a half ago. I really had some high hopes for it, but things went south (taco bell) really fast. Here is a Quicky Bakery version of the nights' events.

**** (Names have been changed to protect the guilty) ****

I picked up Sandra close to nine o'clock and I knew from the very beginning that it was going to be a long night. As she opened the door to my truck she flashed her nice warm smile that had appealed to me from the start. Unfortunately that was the last time she would smile that entire night. While she was climbing into the passengers seat I noticed she was wearing a Yankees t-shirt with blue jeans and a cute Adidas baseball cap. I like baseball but I'm no fan of the Yankees. Regular readers of my blog will surely know where my heart is regarding the boys of summer.

“I take it your a Yankees fan” I ask as I pull out of her drive way.

“Yeah” she responds. “I'm the biggest Derek Jeter fan in south Texas” she adds with glee.

I cringe with nausea and as I hear this. “A Derek Jeter fan!” I think to myself. Say it ain't so Yogi. A Yankees fan, specifically a Derek Jeter fan riding in MY truck and I have to take this lame-o to dinner and pay for her too! What the fudge brownies!!!

Surely enough, Sandra saw my cringe as she revealed her dirty little secret crush on one of baseball's worst pretty-boy losers.

“Why? Whose your favorite team?” she asks expecting me to say the Red Sox or some other east coast sissy team. “Let me guess”, she adds, “you're an Astros type of guy”.

I let out a chuckle at her suggestion and tightened my grip on the steering wheel as I turned onto Corpus Christi Ave on our way down to the Evelyn Cafe on Sanber.

“I've been a Texas Rangers fan since 1986” I finally admit in a soft and serious tone that sounded as if I had just fessed up to having been caught doing cocaine with Michael Irvin. “I don't really follow sports anymore. Just baseball.” I add at the end, almost apologetically.

Her soft mocking giggles filled the truck. “Oh my god, your a Rangers fan? The Yankees always beat the Rangers in the playoffs!” she informed me as if I was a moron. “Thanks for the update” I say with a just a hint of bitter attitude. “Hey its no biggie” she continues, “my last boyfriend played for the Laredo Broncos. Now they really suck” she says shaking her head as if she is trying to get that mental image out of her soul. With those words having being uttered, I looked at her and smiled and we finally reached to our destination and I knew from that moment this wasn't going to work out.

I don't really recall much more from the date other than that. She was a very yada-yada-yada type of chick. I recall something about her being a nurse, her wanting to watch Transformers 2 and her dream of getting an autograph from Jeter, A-Rod and Big Tex. I didn't really eat my food. I was afraid I would blow chunks. Needless to say we went to go watch the movie after dinner but I couldn't wait to drop her off at her apartment. People say there's different strokes for different folks and that opposites attract. Bullshit I say. I don't share my food or my bed with Derek Jeter fans or Yankee followers. That's just how I roll.

I should have stayed home and watched my just-arrived vhs copy of Night of the Comet. Live and learn.

On a side note: Rangers are 3 1/2 games behind first place Angels and are tied for the wild card spot. This is our year... I can smell the cracker jacks.

Milk in Vienna to appear on CarrotHead soundtrack

The local Laredo band, Milk in Vienna, has agreed to have one of their songs appear on our short film. The song that will appear during the final credits is titled, "It ain't love" and it can be found on their debut EP, "Open Fire!".

MIV jumped on the chance of having their awesome music heard by countless hundreds of people who will watch and enjoy (maybe even vomit) our much anticipated short flick. CarrotHead promises to be the best movie since Rosemary's Baby (or at least the best movie since The Pod People from Idaho). Production is still underway and key film sequences are currently undergoing redesigns that have pushed back the film's debut to sometime around early September. But don't fret. The world-class cast that we have assembled is pouring out their heart into the project and it will be extremely evident in the final finished product.

Once complete, we will be hosting a red-carpet, invitation only, fancy smanshy, rented-tux only premier, complete with Presidente brandy for everyone. Cuz hey, that's just how no-name Laredo film makers roll. So keep your eyes shut and your ears folded in anticipation of more news from the movie that is sure to have all of Laredo shaking their heads in embarrassment and 'unbelief'.

There is even talk of having 80's B-movie scream queen Linnea Quigley do a cameo appearance because after all she is the best actress of her generation (Her movie, 1981's Don't Go Near the Park, was the best movie eeveer!) Curiously, her agent has not returned our phone calls, but we won't sweat the small stuff, for we have plan B in case Miss Quigley is "unavailable due to previous contract agreements". If she fails to come through, then Lina Santos, the 80's Mexican C-movie hottie star can fill in just nicely. So, changuitos and keep your eyes shut.

What should the new baseball stadium be named?

Over at the official Broncos website, there is a poll to determine what the fans hope the name of the upcoming stadium should be. Here are some of the interesting choices:

Aldo Tatangelo Field

12%

387

Laredo Sports Complex

51%

168

Broncos Field

22%

115

Corporate Sponsor Field


Some interesting choices! I would opt for the Aldo Tantagelo name myself, with all that he meant/means to this town. The worst choice would be to give the field some faceless, soul less corporate name. Ugh! What are your thoughts on this? Share with us.

Casablanca Lake Pool Abandoned

Recently, I was invited to a 'carne asada' over at Casablanca Lake on some random hot Tuesday afternoon. It had been a while since I visited our treasured local lake and a scene caught my attention. I had never noticed that there is an abandoned pool located by the main entrance, off toward the left behind the tennis courts.

By the looks of it, it has been left to decay for years now, but I'm not too sure what the reason for this tragedy might be. Did someone mysteriously and sadly drown here back in 85'? Was the high cost of pool maintenance no longer cost-effective? Do people prefer to swim in the dirty lake than in the dirty pool? What gives? Why let the pool rot? With the high cost of lake admission, one would think that there would be enough resources to keep the place properly maintained. Next time you go to the lake and you hand them your $4.00 per person admission fee, ask why the pool was shut down, or maybe someone out there in Laredo land knows.