I hadn't had time to give you the adequate update regarding my “date” about a week and a half ago. I really had some high hopes for it, but things went south (taco bell) really fast. Here is a Quicky Bakery version of the nights' events.
**** (Names have been changed to protect the guilty) ****
I picked up Sandra close to nine o'clock and I knew from the very beginning that it was going to be a long night. As she opened the door to my truck she flashed her nice warm smile that had appealed to me from the start. Unfortunately that was the last time she would smile that entire night. While she was climbing into the passengers seat I noticed she was wearing a Yankees t-shirt with blue jeans and a cute Adidas baseball cap. I like baseball but I'm no fan of the Yankees. Regular readers of my blog will surely know where my heart is regarding the boys of summer.
“I take it your a Yankees fan” I ask as I pull out of her drive way.
“Yeah” she responds. “I'm the biggest Derek Jeter fan in south Texas” she adds with glee.
I cringe with nausea and as I hear this. “A Derek Jeter fan!” I think to myself. Say it ain't so Yogi. A Yankees fan, specifically a Derek Jeter fan riding in MY truck and I have to take this lame-o to dinner and pay for her too! What the fudge brownies!!!
Surely enough, Sandra saw my cringe as she revealed her dirty little secret crush on one of baseball's worst pretty-boy losers.
“Why? Whose your favorite team?” she asks expecting me to say the Red Sox or some other east coast sissy team. “Let me guess”, she adds, “you're an Astros type of guy”.
I let out a chuckle at her suggestion and tightened my grip on the steering wheel as I turned onto Corpus Christi Ave on our way down to the Evelyn Cafe on Sanber.
“I've been a Texas Rangers fan since 1986” I finally admit in a soft and serious tone that sounded as if I had just fessed up to having been caught doing cocaine with Michael Irvin. “I don't really follow sports anymore. Just baseball.” I add at the end, almost apologetically.
Her soft mocking giggles filled the truck. “Oh my god, your a Rangers fan? The Yankees always beat the Rangers in the playoffs!” she informed me as if I was a moron. “Thanks for the update” I say with a just a hint of bitter attitude. “Hey its no biggie” she continues, “my last boyfriend played for the Laredo Broncos. Now they really suck” she says shaking her head as if she is trying to get that mental image out of her soul. With those words having being uttered, I looked at her and smiled and we finally reached to our destination and I knew from that moment this wasn't going to work out.
I don't really recall much more from the date other than that. She was a very yada-yada-yada type of chick. I recall something about her being a nurse, her wanting to watch Transformers 2 and her dream of getting an autograph from Jeter, A-Rod and Big Tex. I didn't really eat my food. I was afraid I would blow chunks. Needless to say we went to go watch the movie after dinner but I couldn't wait to drop her off at her apartment. People say there's different strokes for different folks and that opposites attract. Bullshit I say. I don't share my food or my bed with Derek Jeter fans or Yankee followers. That's just how I roll.
I should have stayed home and watched my just-arrived vhs copy of Night of the Comet. Live and learn.
On a side note: Rangers are 3 1/2 games behind first place Angels and are tied for the wild card spot. This is our year... I can smell the cracker jacks.