Why are there no cheerleaders in baseball?

Why are there no Cheerleaders in baseball?

And other 4am questions

Recently, I went about four months without premium TV; that is without cable or dish, and mostly I survived on Netflix and by reading my rarely used copies of my college textbooks.

With so much free time on my hands, I took a wild stab and reading, and more importantly understanding, Michael Foucault and Edward Said. However, I soon arrived at inevitable conclusion that I’m just a dumb American and a sorry excuse for a Chicano*.

As for Netflix, well, there is only so many times one can watch Return of the Zombie Hookers with Chainsaws before the brain begins to melt like Velveeta cheese.

It was then that I decided to return to the idiot box and overpay for awful programming from the likes of VH1 and their endless array of “reality TV” bullshit.

However, the main reason I decided to return to a basic dish package (other than the fact I didn’t understand a goddam thing Foucault was saying) was to be able to view the MLB Network and specifically my Texas Ranger’s games.

This is why, a few days ago, while channel surfing at 4am, like an insomniac on a bender, I began to ask myself why baseball did not employ the lovely services of “barely-clad” cheerleaders, strutting their goods, much to the delight of hot-dog eating spectators  The NBA, the NFL and even soccer leagues** employ cheerleaders. So then, why doesn’t baseball use them? How lame-o! Even worser, why hadn’t I ever noticed this glaring omission before? I’ve been watching TX Rangers baseball since 1986 and I had never noticed the lack of lovely ladies before now.

Call it an epiphany, an awakening or just your basic WTFB moment. Just imagine how much more exciting a foul ball would be, if only the 3^rd baseman had to maneuver passed the pom-pom girls in order to track down the ball by the dugout. I’m just saying. Traditionalists might say it would ruin the game, and it prolly would, but still…

On another note, Chum-Lee from Pawn Stars has quickly bolted to the top of my “favorite goofy people on TV” list. He and Delfino from Auction Kings should definitely go head to head in the quirky sidekicks category.

In the end, I’m back to the boob tube, at least till my brain finishes rotting. 

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* I had a friend in HS that insisted we be called Chicanos and reject the "latino" or "hispanic" label

** My brother refuses to call it soccer and demands I say "futbol". Screw that; its soccer!

*** Pawn Stars is a show on History Channel and Auction Kings is a show on Discovery Channel

Movie quote of the Week

Quote from one of my all-time favorite flicks (Can John Cusack ever fail?)

"What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?" 

Go ahead and try your luck and guess. No cheating by copying and pasting in Google!

Welfare Love

On Valentines, everyone can afford sweets

Found this at the HEB some time back. It just seems wrong.

Tax payers money going to buy overpriced chocolates. Really? Heck, then why can't I get my beer on Lone Star Card? Its just wrong. Everything is just so wrong.

Our country has come to this? (someone cue the Fox News music)

Manifiestos Molestosos

Sorry Monterrey Shoppers

  Someone explain to me again why the Monterrey shoppers don't have to pay sales tax! Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard it before. Still, I say, let's tax em! Then maybe we can have our stores back. *

No parade

I tried my best to wake up early enough to attend the parade, however, I overslept. Oh well.

Big Saturday

The biggest day in Laredo is finally here. The big, big Saturday. I'll try to make it and post some pics from all the happenings.

The Parade

by Maria C.

Parades and me go a loooooong way back. I remember in Head-Start I was asked to dress up as Aunt Jemima and walk in the youth parade. I dunno what the purpose of the character was, but they wanted me to dance around and be ‘lively’. If you know me well enough, you know lively is not a word used to describe me. So suffice it to say I did not participate. That was the beginning and the end of my career in the parade-walking business. 

But I was an avid spectator. My mother would wake us up early Saturday morning; we’d drag our chairs, coolers, and blankets over to some empty space next to Martin High and we’d wait. Dad and Mom would sit on their chairs, while my brothers and I would sit on the curb eating our warm tacos and grumbling about how early and how freakin’ cold it was. It didn’t help that we didn’t care who the business people on the first couple of cars were. But when the floats would start coming out in full force, that’s when we’d wake up and start trying to catch the candy, beads, and toys that were being tossed at us. 

 It was our yearly tradition to be present for Laredo’s Grand Parade. Until recently, that tradition had faded away but I want my daughter to enjoy the same kinda childhood I had. So for the past three years, it’s been my mission to make sure to attend the parade. I make tacos like my mami used to. I bundle up mija in warm layers and nag my brothers until they have no choice but to join us. We’ve gotten a bit wiser since our younger years and we set up our chairs right after work Friday afternoon.

El desfile is always an awesome time to share with family and friends and this year is looking to be no exception. So go out and have some fun. Just be careful with those flying trinkets; they kinda hurt if they knock you on the head (yes, I talk from firsthand experience).