2018 in full effect!

If you noticed, I upgrade from 2.0 to 3.0. Why you might ask? Is there better writing? Did the posts become more intriguing and the journalism stepped up a notch? Are the updates finally arriving on a semi-regular basis? I do hope its a small portion of all three and it should reflect in the upcoming weeks.

It is a new year and 2017 was brutal for me with the loss of Mami Chulas and Halloway Bakery hitting especially hard. However, new places are here to replace these cherished institutions.

One place I have quickly learned to love is the Laredo Outlets. I'm not a fan of Mall del Norte, but the outdoor atmosphere and easy parking make the outlets a fun shopping experience for me (not a paid endorsement). I have found myself going back there for several purchases recently and the decent prices make it my worthwhile.

Unfortunately, many of the stores surrounding the outlets are vacant, probably due to risings rent costs. I love going downtown and to stores besides the outlets and slowly I see many locals also giving downtown another look that has long been forgotten.

We hate it when our friends become successful

To steal a line from Morrissey, I could just go lay down on the woods and die every time I see an old classmate / relative or acquaintance blowing up and getting more recognition that they deserve. It sounds selfish and trivial, but everywhere I turn these days, I see old foes surpassing me and leaving me alone and abandoned, like a tattered hat on the dance floor of El Gastronomico.

I sure do hate that my friends are becoming so damn successful. Even though my seething anger will eventually turn to  actual happiness for their achievements, I feel a great displeasure at almost reaching 40 and stuck in a huge rut of nothingness. I see neighbors and ex-friends, girlfriends and ex-wives thriving in their business or careers. And here I am, quoting bad Moz songs and feeling like Hebbronville, TX: distant, forgotten and inconsequential. 

That same feeling reflects my attitude toward Laredo. Lately, so many wonderful things have been occurring, growth spurting out at all sides. Yet, I feel very jealous at some of Laredo's "success", so much so that it might be time to put to bed that tired line-'There is nothing to do in Laredo- to an eternal sleep.

Family entertainment, night venues, culture and literary centers are being opened at faster rates that I ever remember. Not that I'm a reader or literary in a sense, but, still, it's cool to have that option.

Thought I must say, that sense of jealousy does creep up. "The Laredo that I used to know," sleepy and content with just being itself is being lost to a brand new Laredo. I'm not so certain what this new Laredo encompasses, not at all. But at least its suffice to know its becoming successful. I can deal with my self-pity at a later date. 

Coming Back Soon

Posts have been getting more and more hard to come by, not because of lack of material but rather my own bad time management. 

But fret not! You will see an increase of entries in the next month. So, I'm almost back, kinda, sorta, just wait and see.

South Laredo Taco Trail

We down in south Laredo are not privy to the national eatery chains that adorn the other side of town. When it comes to all the "good restaurant chains", we are left with empty bellies and broken hearts. Places like Cheddars, Chillis, Applebees and Longhorn Steakhouse will not dare open up a location in the southside. But that is just too bad for them; that is their loss. We don't need their fancy corporate fannies in my part of town. We have our own locally grown chains that cater to our to what Laredo is really about, tacos, tacos and more tacos starting with Laredo's own trinity-trifecta known as TaconMadre, Taco Tote and mighty Taco Palenque.

Down on south Zapata Hwy, by Cigarroa High, all three taco giants are duking it our for supremacy along a 5 block strip that oozes guacamole. South Laredo has no need for national jokes when all we need are tacos done right.

Taco Tote is not going down with a fight!

Stripes has Taco Palenque running scared

So if you live on the wrong side of town, you know anywhere north of Guadalupe, take a drive to the south Laredo Taco Trail and give the national chains a fancy middle finger salute. Tell them Delaredo sent you and you get an extra heap of guacamole! Provecho.

Lo Nuevo, Nuevo @Downtown Jett Sales

There is a store in downtown Laredo that has some pretty cool, old stuff but at some pretty high retail prices. Most of the items sold here were top of the line in 1990. However, it is a new millennium but this store is adamant at selling their wares at top dollar, no matter if they are no longer in high demand.

Need a VHS rewinder? They can hook you up with for a mere 35 dollars! Gotta have a Cassette Walkman to rock out some Anthrax on your way to 4th period Algebra class? A mere $60 can get you a yellow Sports player.

If this VHS rewinder is on special at $35, they I shudder to think what they everyday normal price might be.

As a big fan of the 80s and 90s, and as someone that pines for the past century, you would think I'd be all over this store. But, it just seems like this place is out of touch, a time capsule that needs to be shaken awake.

Elsa's Party Rental

(Paid Content Advertising)

Having a party soon and need a moonwalk bouncy house? Then, you should give the people of Elsa's Party Rentals a call! They can hook you up with water slides, tables, chairs and brincolines here in Laredo, TX. 

It is a long, hot summer and this water slide will make you forget your worries as your kids laugh and play under the fun sun. They offer a variety of package. Go to their website and give them a call for your party needs!

Worshiping at the altar of Laredo's Panaderias

    In Laredo, bakeries are like cathedrals; however, instead of manna from heaven, worshipers of these panaderias seek out slightly less sacred form of heavenly bread. I say slightly less sacred because Laredoans have an almost religious devotion to pan dulce.

     Old timers are fervently faithful to their bakery of choice, whether it be El Mejor Pan, Polo's Bakery,  or La Reynera. They are like life-long parishioners, unwilling to switch in search of something new. In fact, some would rather first change church affiliation before they ever fathom converting to another pan dulce provider.

    My old man is one such case in point. To him, the 1977 beisbol Tecolotes are still sports royalty, Tatangelo is still town saviour, and he believes that anything you will ever need can be found at either Sears or Dr. Ikes (ever since Munden's closed down). In other words, to my dad, some things should remain constant and warrant no change. He's been a parishioner of Temple Quickie Bakery ever since I can recall, and he assures me it is heretical to buy pan dulce anywhere else.  

     Everytime I mention Pano's or Gonzalez Bakery, he mutters at me angrily and waves me away with his hand, as if I just asked  him if he ever voted for Richard Nixon.

     Laredoans take pan dulce deadly serious. Domingos and meriendas would be catastrophically incomplete without conchas, cuernitos and empanadas. The picture below proves my point.

     Apparently, at Pano's Bakery running out of sweet bread constitutes an emergency akin to a fiend in desperate need of a fix. While these days churches no longer have "emergency numbers", bakeries sure do for they must fill our bellies and save our weary souls. You see, Laredo takes their pan dulce dependency to new heights, and places like Pano's are there to medicate our wanting needs.

     We are willing to pay money, blood, and even the last few remaining dollars on our government issued Lone Star Card in exchange for a dozen tasty treats. 

     In fact, so dependent are local bakeries to Laredo's welfare dollars that they even construct their slogans around their necessity such as you'll see in the picture below.

Chalos is "Now Accepting Lonestar" Best tagline ever!

    Chalo's Bakery sign pleads to pan dulce believers, like a lighted, gold cross reaching out to the unchurched as if saying, "Come as you are. We make no judgements. Your Lonestar Card is worthy of our collection basket."

    At the end of the day, it matters not what currency you use to enter your own local kingdom bakery. Just suffice it to say that their pearly gates will be opened to all, especially in emergencies because in Laredo bakeries are cathedrals and no one gets turned away.