The Hand goes to Wal Mart

I'm not sure what was wrong with me. It was a momentary lapse of reason. I had to do some quick X-Mas shopping, so for some bizarre reason I ventured to the WalMart (by Chillis on I-35) and man was the place a mad house. I stepped in and quickly wanted out, but I was sucked in by the evil WalMart trappings. It was a bad afternoon for the hand. Live and learn.

I've been naughty lately..

Santa after X-Mas, goes on bender

  I've been very naughty lately. Yup, bad to the bone(r). One of my biggest sins has been neglecting this blog the last week or so. There has been other things that has put my name on Santa's coal list, but you need not concern your perfect life with those trivial tidbits.

I've been busy flipping off the bird to crazy paisanos and those cocky Monterrey shoppers that turn Best Buy, Walmart and Academy stores into a complete zoo. But enough about them, I do apologize for not having posted anything in over a week. I promise it won't happen again (crossed fingers behind back).

Santa, don't disappoint me please, like back in X-Mas 1987 when I wanted that He-Man and Battlecat action figure, but you goofed the order and sent me Rainbow Brite instead. That was so not cool. Then, Santa, you tried blaming 'the elves were knocking back too much eggnog', but that was just lame-o.

 
So, don't goof up this time Santa-Claws. You know what's on my Christmas list. I've been good enough this year too. Just ask around all over Laredo, in all the good neighborhoods: Cantaranas, La Ladrillera, El Chacon, Azteca, even in Santa Rita. I was good this year Santa, for the most part.

I'm hungry for you

I'm hungry 4 U

(written while bored in 8th pd. Algebra class circa 1993)

You're my cupcake

You're my twinky 

You're my Duvalin

and choco-slinky.

You're my muffin

you're my banana-nut,  

I love your donut-

big round butt.

You're my pancake,

my French toast.

You're the pan dulce

I love the most.

You're my butter biscuit,

my cornbread. 

You're my cheesecake 

pastry fed.

You get me so fuckin hungry.

Rico de Quicky

Letter to my Seventeen year-old Self

(If I could go back and give some advice to myself when I was just 17 years old, this is what I would say to me.)

Dear Seventeen Year-Old "DeLaredo",

Why the hell you give dad so much of a difficult time? Listen to him more often. You don't know it YET, but he actually does know what he is talking about. So stop being an asshole with him and listen to the old man's stories without rolling your eyes.

Easy on the underground Italian horror zombie films. Not everyone likes subtitles and dropping names like Lucio Fulci just to impress people is being a horror film snob. Some people actually do enjoy Stephen King. Let them! Watch less horror films and throw in a 'chick flick' with your GF. It makes things so much easier. Believe me.

Stop quoting Public Enemy when you write your school essays for English class. You didn't grow up in Cabrini Green. Get over it. You're not Chuck D and years from now Flavor Flav will be an embarrassment on VH1. (Yeaaaah Booooyyy)

Will it kill you to get the girl some roses? During Valentine's Day, be nice, buy her some roses. I know, I know. Its a bogus holiday fabricated by the American Florist Association to sucker people to guy overpriced flowers, but girls like it. Just do it. Again, it makes things so much easier. You don't always have to be a "rebel".

And while we are on the 'rebel' topic, its OK if you participate in school activities like pep-rallies. It doesn't make you a sheep or a pawn of the state. You can still be cool and hip and still do the other things that "normal" kids are doing. You're not going to melt if you attend your high school's football game. Stop being so EMO.  Contrary to what you believe, Robert Smith is not God so stop listening to "Inbetween Days" endlessly on your Cassette Walkman.

Seventeen year old self, its 1996 and you think you hate Intocable now? You're gonna absolutely loathe them in about 10 years.

And another thing, do your fuckin homework. Don't just start your essay; complete it. Get better grades. Heck, you might even be able to get into a decent college instead of LCC.

Be nice to your parents and to your siblings. They're your family.

Yeah, yeah, I know you don't care what people think about you. But easy on the Bobby Brown act. It might be your prerogative, but that doesn't give you a license to hurt people's feelings. Be nice and kind, seventeen year old self.

Last, don't bad mouth your own city so much. Laredo is great. In about 4 years something is going to happen to you that will make you realize everything I am saying and you will find 'the purpose'. Until then, heed these words, seventeen-year old me. You will love Laredo one day, and when that day arrives, everything else will fall into place.

Sincerely,
Your 32 year old self. 

Second Base Park

There was nothing better for me in the late 90s than going to the park adjacent to RiverDrive Mall. It was a great place to take a GF and get to at least second base. Most of the time it was dark and secluded, except for the occasional "mojadito". Border Patrol vehicles were frequent passer by's as well. But heck, they didn't break my concentration. I loved that park back in the day. For some odd reason, I was down the riverbanks again earlier in the evening, and I passed by this same deteriorated park, just like I remember it from 1996. I love my city. Good times.

CarrotHead part 2: Official Trailer

Finally, a teaser trailer of my upcoming short film, CarrotHead: Part 2. Take a look below. Lots more information on the film coming soon. Patience is good, friends.

Random Lyric of the Week

"Dicen que el mejor consejo, 
es el que se da uno mismo.
Que nada es tan importante,
como un hombre decidido"