Elsa's Party Rental

(Paid Content Advertising)

Having a party soon and need a moonwalk bouncy house? Then, you should give the people of Elsa's Party Rentals a call! They can hook you up with water slides, tables, chairs and brincolines here in Laredo, TX. 

It is a long, hot summer and this water slide will make you forget your worries as your kids laugh and play under the fun sun. They offer a variety of package. Go to their website and give them a call for your party needs!

Worshiping at the altar of Laredo's Panaderias

    In Laredo, bakeries are like cathedrals; however, instead of manna from heaven, worshipers of these panaderias seek out slightly less sacred form of heavenly bread. I say slightly less sacred because Laredoans have an almost religious devotion to pan dulce.

     Old timers are fervently faithful to their bakery of choice, whether it be El Mejor Pan, Polo's Bakery,  or La Reynera. They are like life-long parishioners, unwilling to switch in search of something new. In fact, some would rather first change church affiliation before they ever fathom converting to another pan dulce provider.

    My old man is one such case in point. To him, the 1977 beisbol Tecolotes are still sports royalty, Tatangelo is still town saviour, and he believes that anything you will ever need can be found at either Sears or Dr. Ikes (ever since Munden's closed down). In other words, to my dad, some things should remain constant and warrant no change. He's been a parishioner of Temple Quickie Bakery ever since I can recall, and he assures me it is heretical to buy pan dulce anywhere else.  

     Everytime I mention Pano's or Gonzalez Bakery, he mutters at me angrily and waves me away with his hand, as if I just asked  him if he ever voted for Richard Nixon.

     Laredoans take pan dulce deadly serious. Domingos and meriendas would be catastrophically incomplete without conchas, cuernitos and empanadas. The picture below proves my point.

     Apparently, at Pano's Bakery running out of sweet bread constitutes an emergency akin to a fiend in desperate need of a fix. While these days churches no longer have "emergency numbers", bakeries sure do for they must fill our bellies and save our weary souls. You see, Laredo takes their pan dulce dependency to new heights, and places like Pano's are there to medicate our wanting needs.

     We are willing to pay money, blood, and even the last few remaining dollars on our government issued Lone Star Card in exchange for a dozen tasty treats. 

     In fact, so dependent are local bakeries to Laredo's welfare dollars that they even construct their slogans around their necessity such as you'll see in the picture below.

Chalos is "Now Accepting Lonestar" Best tagline ever!

    Chalo's Bakery sign pleads to pan dulce believers, like a lighted, gold cross reaching out to the unchurched as if saying, "Come as you are. We make no judgements. Your Lonestar Card is worthy of our collection basket."

    At the end of the day, it matters not what currency you use to enter your own local kingdom bakery. Just suffice it to say that their pearly gates will be opened to all, especially in emergencies because in Laredo bakeries are cathedrals and no one gets turned away.

Football Season AND Pulga Blanca in Laredo, TX

Believe it or not, I actually had a difficult time signing into my BLOGGER ACCOUNT and for the life of me I could not recall my Google email. Somehow, in a flash of memory spark, I remembered both my email and password, after about two months of not being able to sign in.

So, here we are in a brand new year 2017 but I still choose to look at the past.  The present is great in all, but I have more fun when I retrospect and see what happened in the days gone by.

This Sunday, I found myself at the Pulga Blanca and I was checking out some of the vendor booths, and most were the usual assortment of  Wal Mart returns, but one person actually had some interesting items. Among the wares he was hawking was a stadium seat cushion from that legendary rivalry of Nixon Vs. Martin. It was dated from 1985, which so happens to be my fondest yr from the 1980s.

Now, I did not this honorable institution, but I was almost tempted to buy it just for the year alone. It looked comfy and I can just imagined how many different tushies it had encountered since the days of Marty Mcfly back in time. Next time I might just pick it up, even though its 2017 on the calendar, to me 1985 never ended.

The long and winding road back home

So it's been a while since I last posted anything. Honestly, it hasn't been all quiet on the home front, and that has prevented me from coming around here.

But sometimes the long road back home is just one blog post away. Let me go get my keyboard again.

El Rancherito Meat Market meets its Maker

For years at every #carne asada, before and after every Dallas Cowboys game, El Rancherito Meat Market was my go to place for carne, beer, and chips. I first started shopping there around 1992, but by then it was already 15 years old.

Located in one of Laredo's best neighborhoods, #santobaby, El Rancherito was a southside institution for thousands of people that depended on them Sunday after carne asada Sunday. They were located across the street from another, now defunct, venerable southside landmark, The Movie Palace. These two stores were my go to places for cigs and R Rated fun. Now they are both gone, up in smoke. 

I was unaware of Rancherito's demise until I drove by just last week. I stopped to pay my respects and to bid adieu to the neighborhood store of my youth. This Sunday, when I splash open my can of Schlitz and poke my ribs on the grill, I'll get smoke in my eyes and tear up for that store that is no more.
#GoodbyeElRancherito
You will be missed.

The Unicorn Restaurant (1987) Whatever happened to? (part 1)

Whatever happened to....? The Unicorn was a good place..with "fluent English".

Laredo has come a long way since 1987. Not too long ago, our city was apparently nothing but a backwards, corruption filled city with dusty, unpaved streets. Those post JC Martin years now seem like a distant world, a Laredo from another parallel universe. 

Case in point is this advertisement taken from the 1987 edition of the WBCA annual booklet. It seems that restaurants from that era had to go out of their way to advertise themselves as a place that has "fluent English". Never mind the fact that we are still in good 'ol US of A, but Laredoans of the time seemed to feel the need to reassure tourists that English was spoken here, even in this border outpost. 

"Fluent English" is not something that a local modern Laredo restaurant would emphasize in their advertisement today, but in 1987, speaking English in Laredo was apparently all the rage.

Grupo Payande de Gerardo Cavazos y Victor Trejo

For the past few months, I have been buying up large amounts of old tapes, vinyl, CD's and other media. I had not found much of anything of note, until a few days ago when I was rummaging through a box and came across a cool 8-track: Grupo Payande.

At first, I set it aside, not thinking much of it, other than dismissing it as a Renacimiento 74' clone. I'd never heard of them and I'd figured they must be from somewhere in Mexico, but then I took a close look at the 8 track cover art and, to my surprise, I realized this particular grupo hailed from good old Laredo, TX. After that initial surprise, I googled them and found some interesting facts on this forgotten local band. This particular 8 track is from 1983 for the CAM-Mex record label. I must say I kinda dig the sound, and I'm thinking of writing to their fan club. Maybe someone responds.  Check out some of their videos below. Let me know of any info, memories you have of the grupo from back in the day.

An Afternoon in downtown Laredo

My job has been keeping me busier than usual. I'm not making excuses, I love my day jobs, but  they do drain the life out of me. Not that I'm complaining, for my jobs pay the mortgage, keep the Schlitz flowing freely and make the wife/s happy. Still, it leaves zero-free time to myself.

That is why when I finally had an afternoon off from work, several weeks ago, I jumped at the chance to once again cruise the crazy streets of Downtown Laredo, where drug deals, rancherismo-dancing, prostitution, panhandlers and cheap, electronic knockoffs keep my blogging back for more. 

Perfect afternoons away from the work are a rarity for me, so I decided to unwind by sipping on a Ziggy-sixer and stumbling down the streets of my beloved hometown. Below you will find of few of the things I encountered on this particular occasion. 

Who says we have no culture in Laredo? Modern art is everywhere.

Downtown, they take their patriotic duties very seriously. Shops get closed for God and Country.

I was surprised at the amount of shops closed on this particular day. Is it El Guapo's birthday or something?

You can stand in the middle of the street on Salinas Ave at 4:30pm and not worry about a thing.
(except maybe the meter maids) #LackOfParking

Wow! Downtown landlords don't mess around. If you dont pay your rent you get shut down
and go the way of Munden's or the Playmore. #GoneButNotForgotten

So my day off was not a total waste. I was able to get my cheap electronics fix, buy an elote, gaze at the lovely Senoritas before calling it a day by wandering into one of several downtown cantinas. All in days blog. You see how I sacrifice myself for you readers. Keep blogging back for more Laredo downtown afternoon delights. 

The Ribcage

  Most of the time, whenever a new restaurant opens in Laredo, all the buzz is centered around the northern part of the city. For example, you have chains like Dunkin Donuts and Alamo DraftHouse that have created a local anticipation for months now since their initial announcements.

 Not one to be blinded by that bias, I must give mention a new local restaurant, the Ribcage, that quietly opened up several months ago now. Having frequented the place several times, I must admit I did enjoy the flavor of their BBQ. Who needs Rudy's when the Ribcage in south Laredo offers better choice and flavor, and all without having to drive across the city. In fact, its just around the corner from this blogger's house in Santo Baby, TX. So next time you take a wrong turn on Loop 20 and get lost in south Laredo, give 'em a try, see what you think.

No se fia (ni preguntes)

I work all over Laredo, sometimes picking up merchandise sometimes delivering it (I will leave out the specifics, just in case the good ol' boys at the DA's office are reading this lowly blog). Nonetheless, I found myself far away from the cozy comforts of Santo Nino, TX in the unknown parts of west Laredo.

Having toiled all day under the unforgiving sun and having driven around in search of product, I became a thirsty traveler with an unending thirst. I usually do not find myself west of Santa Maria, but on this particular, odd Sunday morning, I stumbled across an oasis, amidst rumbling locomotives.

Much to my disappointment, this oasis of love and beer, this Mecca of liquid from the gods, had yet to swing open its doors for business, and being it was God's day of rest, and a non-Dallas Cowboys Sunday, I was rejected the opportunity to guzzle down a cold, domestic beer.

No matter how much I kicked at the door, yelled through the windows, or pumped my  fist in an Eddie Macon-fury way, the doors simply did not open for this disenchanted south Laredoan. It was probably all for the best, for all I had in my pocket were 4 varos, not enough for even a 6 pack of Bud, and having learned from their signage, they are not to keen on credit. Oh well, off I go to el Hevito then.

LareDon't do this to me

For reasons that are not too clear to me at the moment, I haven't stopped by this blog and shared my thoughts with my public lately. There are few things worse in life than letting down all 11 of my loyal readers.

Maybe I was too busy running for office. Maybe I just could not be dragged away from those spinning maquinitas that line every corner of this creepy city. Or maybe I was just too sick from all the carne-asada ingesting, Dallas Cowboys orgy-loving that seems to once again wrapped its kinky arms around this god-forsaken city.

Truth is I have been indulging myself in endless re-runs of shitty TV shows that have made it difficult to drag my fingers from off my remote control onto this aging laptop, with keyboards so sticky you'd think I ate toast with jam over it. Alas, the stickiness is not due to strawberry jam.

Which brings me to my point. One such show that seems to have hit a little too close for comfort is Californication. You might know the show or its premise. If you don't, its cool, I wont bore you with the details. Suffice it to say that, some of the gritty, over-the-top, disgusting moments from that show seem to bare some strange resemblance to the last three years of my life. But as that old disclaimer says, any resemblance to real people is clearly coincidental. I'm not saying I'm David Duchovny, in fact I've been told I look like Paul Rodriguez' ugly younger brother. The point is, I've been busy not blogging due to so discrepancies within my own twisted life.

However, there comes a time in a man's life, even a man like me, a poor schmuck from Santo Baby, TX to grow the hell up. There comes a time to look past the instant gratifications of the flesh, throw caution to the wind and immerse oneself in a good-old fashion, south-Laredo monogamous relationship that even Ricky Ricardo would approve.

Having been married several times already, I figured what the heck, why not again? Maybe because I've had so much practice at being married, I could actually do it right this time. That's what I figured. How many times can a man mess up? Isn't redemption always just around the corner? Having driven around all the the major points of this city throughout this Sunday afternoon, from Meadow to Saunders to Pita Mangana Road, I've come to the conclusion that it's definitely OK to accept my past, but its much more important  to mold a better future for myself. Having said that and having invited a band of cliches to take a seat upon my couch, I decided mucho more than just that.

We all make minor changes within our lives, at one point or another. This blog has always been therapuetic for me and, heck, I can honestly say it has been instrumental in keeping me in touch with who I am and where I come from. And I'm ok with that. Even though I neglect the blog, I know I can always come back to its waiting arms, ever so desperate for my warm embrace. And I know what I am, now. I'm a 30-something year old man from south Laredo with big dreams, no money, zero talent but all the ambition in the world to correct the wrongs and make them right. And I'm OK with that. All it took was a quiet Sunday drive from Meadow to Pita Mangana Road to make understand the obvious.

I'm definitely OK with that.