Waiting for the parade to begin

Standing by the Coffee Dolce and still waiting for the floats to appear. I should have stayed in bed. #Laredodowner

The Future

Many men know for certain when The Time finally arrives. And it has nothing to do with wedding bells.
Rather, it comes from inside the soul.
Maturity finally strikes full force and it makes men jump into the arms of eternal commitment. I know it for certain that my time has arrived. That's all I was waiting for.

From Laredo

Don't forget to visit our new sister site, FromLaredo! More information soon.

Hal Holbrook in Laredo

As soon as I heard Hal Holbrook was coming to Laredo, I jumped in glee at the possibility of meeting one of my favorite actors and an icon of both cinema and stage.

For those of you who might be unaware, Hal Holbrook will once again reprise his role as Mark Twain at the TAMIU Fine Arts Hall as part of the Sanchez Lecture series. No doubt, Mr. Holbrook is known for his role as Mark Twain as well as a long list of credits in countless other films, but I could hardly care less about any of those.

To me, Hal Holbrook is that old guy that appears in one of my favorite awful slasher films from the 1980s', "Girls Nite Out" (originally titled "The Scaremaker").

Girls Nite out is not just a horrible movie, it's a terrible slasher film with a confusing plot, ineffective acting and quite possibly some of the dullest kills ever imagined. One almost has to ask: What the hell is Hall Holbrook doing in a movie like this?

And that is just what I plan on asking him, if I get the chance to go. That is a big IF. How can I pass up the chance to meet a horror/slasher legend (Creepshow, The Fog)?

So, just in case, I plan on taking my VHS copy of Girls Nite Out in the hope of getting it signed by Hal. Well, still not convinced in the awesome-badness of this film, check out Final Girl's review here.

The Legend of Billy Jean (movie)

    Growing up, we hardly ever had HBO. Come to think of it, regular cable was a luxury hard to come by as well. However, every now and then, HBO would offer those free weekend promotions where they featured their programming in an attempt to sucker people into subscribing

It was on one of those magical Saturday mornings, when my older brother and I, lounging around the house and having the time of our lives watching  the movie "The Legend of Billy Jean", made one of the most important discoveries of our then-young lives; the movie actually mentioned "Laredo"!

"What about that school in Laredo? Did you burn it down?"

You might have seen this movie 1,000 times back in the day, and to be completely honest, one of the only reasons to ever watch this movie is not only for to cool pop 80s soundtrack, but also for the cool way that Laredo is briefly mentioned in the film.

Supposedly, many scenes from the movie where filmed in and around the Corpus Christi area, and every now and then I still get a kick watching it on late night cable (yeah, I can afford cable now, Thanks Obama).

Nonetheless, if you have never enjoyed the 80s fromage that is The Legend of Billy Jean, click the YouTube link below. It's uttered at minute 59:50.

Walking through Laredo

Some of you might have noticed that recently my blogging output has slowed down to a trickle. That is due to several factors with the major reason being that I have recently moved from one residence to another. Because of the move, most of my time has been absorbed in that transition. Now that I am beginning to be firmly settled down once again, I can begin to sit down and blog about my city like I have for the past three years.

However, it was during this move to my new "home" that I came across something that once meant the world to me: my Sony Walkman with MegaBass.

similar to my trusty Walkman, but in better condition

 You see, back in the late 80s and through out the 90s, whenever I would jog or run through the dangerous streets of south Laredo, my trusty Walkman was always hanging off my belt clip, like a can of police-issued mace. Also with me I carried various music tapes, usually the home recorded-off the radio variety. I loved my Walkman and off course I took it to school for boring French class with Mr. Jacobs, rocked it on Saturdays at the old RiverDrive Mall, and carried it with me on the rare Sundays that my primos took me cruising to La Sanber (er Sanbe to some).

Sometime in the late 1999, I lost track of my battery draining Walkman and it did not resurface until 2009. I was at my parent's house going through an old box of mine when I spotted my closest friend since the time of Zack Morris and Kelly Kapowski. Time was not kind on my trusty Walkman, but after putting in fresh batteries and sliding in my old copy Grupo Mazz's "No te Olvidare", the Megabass shook my body, like a visit from Monica Lewinsky.

I slapped on my warm-ups, grabbed my Walkman and trotted out into the stray-dog filled south Laredo night, as if the the past decade had never happened.

I just now this is going to be a great new year, even if it's not 1995.

December in Laredo

December in Laredo 

by Miguel Inclan Jr.

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” says Andy Williams in his Christmas song that cannot be absent from every holiday playlist. If you say this to a Laredo business owner, they will nod in agreement in an instant. However, if you say it to a local commuter, you are bound to see a big frown form on his or her face. Yes, I’m talking about the month that is both anxiously awaited and absolutely dreaded by the people of Laredo.

One of the first things that comes to the mind of Laredoans when either the word “December” or “Christmas” are mentioned is the increased traffic that we see on our streets. Every day of this month, tens of thousands of shoppers from nearly every state in Mexico drive to Laredo and take advantage of the retail opportunities that Laredo has to offer. Those people, although some stubborn locals will not admit it, are the backbone of Laredo. They put up with hours of waiting in line at the bridges to cross into Laredo and spend thousands of dollars in our stores, restaurants and hotels. As a former Bridge Officer Collector for the City of Laredo, I can attest to that. The revenue that the Laredo Bridge System collects is one of the strongest and most accurate indicators of the economy of this City and the shoppers have a great influence in said revenue.

Paisanos clogging up traffic in Laredo

Now, it is also when tens of thousands of Paisanos, Mexican immigrants who live in the US, make that trip from cites all across America into IH35 and descend upon Laredo as they cross through the Gateway to Mexico to visit their families in their hometowns. The vehicles that paisanos drive are often full of luggage and other items and tow either a trailer or another vehicle. When these vehicles cross, the Mexican Customs have to check everything to make sure no contraband is brought in and that the vehicles have the required documents and permits necessary to be imported into Mexico. Sometimes, this process takes several hours, even days, and as such the epic traffic jams at IH35 and Santa Maria are created in the last weekend before Christmas. Laredo Police has implemented a special detail at the access to Bridges I and II to help traffic flow smoothly. Mexico also has the Paisano Program which includes a special rest stop on IH35 to help Paisanos on their trip.

Whether through Facebook, Twitter, or in person, I see or hear literally a dozen complaints per day about the traffic. I honestly believe that these are necessary sacrifices that we must make in order to keep those people from traveling to other cities like McAllen (the city which I consider Laredo’s biggest threat) or San Antonio in the case of Mexican shoppers or El Paso, Eagle Pass or McAllen in the case of paisanos. After seeing my cousin drive, I came to the realization that Mexican drivers sometimes do not understand the traffic signs, especially the yield sign at the exit ramps on IH35. Since adding signs in the Spanish language would be a very controversial process, I suggest that we offer some sort of manual to the drivers at the time they are at U.S. Customs in the Bridges. The Texas Driver’s Handbook issued by the Texas Department of Public Safety would be a great option. 

Instead of complaining, what Laredoans must do is help and serve the paisanos and shoppers in any way possible. Each and every one of us is an ambassador of this City, and the actions that we take should be done with the intention of establishing a positive image of Laredo. Use side streets, avoid traveling to certain parts of town during the traffic jams and always observe all safety signs and advisories. 

This Holiday season, spend as much time as possible with your family and cherish those moments, as there are people who for some reason cannot do the same. Also, don’t drink and drive, remember that someone is waiting for you at home. I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

La Carcel de Laredo

  One of the good things about Youtube is that users can upload full movies for others to enjoy. That is a sweet thing, although many movies get taken down due to copyright infringement, yada yada yada.

 One such movie, that will probably not get taken down by its lawful owners, is called "La Carcel de Laredo". I'd honestly never heard of this title, but it was referred to me by an online contact.

After doing some basic research, I was able to conclude that it was filmed in Durango with several scenes supposedly done in our sister city, Nuevo Laredo. However, I was unable to spot any scenes to verify that, so I will have to accept IMDB's word for it.

I tried my best to sit through the movie, but after 30 minutes of complete overacting, ludicrous plot, and atrocious set-design with awful costumes, I had to skip to the good parts. But the good parts never arrived.

As a fan of the golden age of Mexican cinema, I can only imagine the grave turning being done by the Fernando Solers of the after-world.

"La Carcel de Laredo" has a Tigres-del-norte-corrido-song-title sound to it, but from the lousy 30 minutes I saw of this movie, I heard not such sounds.

Bummer.

I was even expecting to have Valentin Trujillo, Mario Almada or a nude Lina Santos scene to come and save the day. But, no, it was not to be.

I only watched the movie because of its title, and I was hoping to see some cool scenes of Nuevo Laredo circa the mid 80s, but like everything else in Los Dos Laredos, it just disappointed.

New southside eateries

 Whenever I see a new eatery open up in the south-side, I tend to run out and give the place a try. In this part of town, its mostly locally-owned restaurants and fast-food joints that set-up shop. We will gladly take them, too.

 Recently, I saw that two old favorites, Guely's and Pino Burger, were either opening up a new location or moving to a better spot on Loop 20, close to the Century City neighborhood.

Pino-Burger in the south side

I remember the Guely's location on SanBer really well. I always thought that they had great, greasy menudo.

As for Pino Burger, I can't speak too well of their "north side" location on Del Mar, but their Nuevo Laredo version was my second home back in the mid 90s. I must have single-handedly kept them in business back in 1997. Of course, those were the days when a regular person could venture out into Nuevo Laredo for some dining and wining.

Nonetheless, its good to see two new choices opening up in my part of town.

Laredo Hot Box Session

Every now and then I like to surf through local Youtube videos in search for the next big local viral hit. While I doubt that this video has that quality, it somehow manages to resonate a "BorderTown Laredo"-say nope to dope-pass on grass morality tale to it.

 In fact, it was while searching for clips of our famed reality TV show, Bordertown Laredo, that I spotted this gem, made by what looks like Cheech and Chongs' fan club for the under 17 crowd. Apparently, this type of video, known as "hot-boxing" seems to be fairly popular among this particular demographic.

 To each their own. Enjoy the video.

Vote for the Worst HEB in Laredo

It never fails that each time I need to run to the grocery store and pick up a few items, our local big-box store, HEB, is always jam-packed with so many people that I have to pop an Excedrin before I dare to venture into that food-filled jungle. It is truly impossible to just go in and out of an HEB. There are always so many customers and so few opened lanes, that each time I shop there, I always promise myself it will be the very last time I go walk through those doors.

"Stampede on aisle 3"

But in Laredo, HEB is pretty much the only grocery in town.

I have no other options. HEB is the only grocery store in this city. With no competitors, HEB can just gouge our eyes and we have to take it up the can because we have no alternatives. There is no Tom Thumb, Fiesta, Kroger's, Minyard's, or any of the countless other national, big-box grocery chains.

What are my options? Super S Foods and Narvaez. Please! Narvaez should not even count because they have closed down several of their locations. As for Super S, well, unless you are paying with the state-assisted Lonestar Card, a hard-working person has no business even wondering unto their parking lot to score pirated DVD's, much less shop for food.

By the way, I know what you're thinking. What about Wal-mart? They don't count for they aren't a true grocery store. Unfortunately, HEB is the only game in town. As has been pointed out before by many others, they have an unhealthy local monopoly on the grocery store industry and I think it's time we all pushed our HEB-carts in unison, make some noise and clamor for at least a Fiesta!

HEB Bumper Carts

While some local competition will be a thorn on the side of HEB, it will be a godsend to the denizens of this county.

This is not Laredo circa 1989. We are definitely ready for a new regional food chain.

Every HEB is always crowded. It does not matter the day or the time, there is always 10,000 people at any given moment. Some HEB's are worse than others (I'm looking at you HEB Zapata Hwy.) Others are mostly filled with families buying 2,000 lbs. of Cheetos and 100 gallons of Pepsi and all on their Lonestar Card.

But what do you think Laredo? What is the worst HEB to shop in Laredo? Which local HEB is the most crowded, loudest, chook-filled with Lonestar Card, buying- in our city?

(HEB Downtown, HEB Guadalupe, HEB San Dario, HEB Del Mar, HEB Saunders, HEB Zapata Hwy,  HEB McPherson aka Gucci-b, HEB Plus)