La Carcel de Laredo

  One of the good things about Youtube is that users can upload full movies for others to enjoy. That is a sweet thing, although many movies get taken down due to copyright infringement, yada yada yada.

 One such movie, that will probably not get taken down by its lawful owners, is called "La Carcel de Laredo". I'd honestly never heard of this title, but it was referred to me by an online contact.

After doing some basic research, I was able to conclude that it was filmed in Durango with several scenes supposedly done in our sister city, Nuevo Laredo. However, I was unable to spot any scenes to verify that, so I will have to accept IMDB's word for it.

I tried my best to sit through the movie, but after 30 minutes of complete overacting, ludicrous plot, and atrocious set-design with awful costumes, I had to skip to the good parts. But the good parts never arrived.

As a fan of the golden age of Mexican cinema, I can only imagine the grave turning being done by the Fernando Solers of the after-world.

"La Carcel de Laredo" has a Tigres-del-norte-corrido-song-title sound to it, but from the lousy 30 minutes I saw of this movie, I heard not such sounds.

Bummer.

I was even expecting to have Valentin Trujillo, Mario Almada or a nude Lina Santos scene to come and save the day. But, no, it was not to be.

I only watched the movie because of its title, and I was hoping to see some cool scenes of Nuevo Laredo circa the mid 80s, but like everything else in Los Dos Laredos, it just disappointed.

New southside eateries

 Whenever I see a new eatery open up in the south-side, I tend to run out and give the place a try. In this part of town, its mostly locally-owned restaurants and fast-food joints that set-up shop. We will gladly take them, too.

 Recently, I saw that two old favorites, Guely's and Pino Burger, were either opening up a new location or moving to a better spot on Loop 20, close to the Century City neighborhood.

Pino-Burger in the south side

I remember the Guely's location on SanBer really well. I always thought that they had great, greasy menudo.

As for Pino Burger, I can't speak too well of their "north side" location on Del Mar, but their Nuevo Laredo version was my second home back in the mid 90s. I must have single-handedly kept them in business back in 1997. Of course, those were the days when a regular person could venture out into Nuevo Laredo for some dining and wining.

Nonetheless, its good to see two new choices opening up in my part of town.

Laredo Hot Box Session

Every now and then I like to surf through local Youtube videos in search for the next big local viral hit. While I doubt that this video has that quality, it somehow manages to resonate a "BorderTown Laredo"-say nope to dope-pass on grass morality tale to it.

 In fact, it was while searching for clips of our famed reality TV show, Bordertown Laredo, that I spotted this gem, made by what looks like Cheech and Chongs' fan club for the under 17 crowd. Apparently, this type of video, known as "hot-boxing" seems to be fairly popular among this particular demographic.

 To each their own. Enjoy the video.

Vote for the Worst HEB in Laredo

It never fails that each time I need to run to the grocery store and pick up a few items, our local big-box store, HEB, is always jam-packed with so many people that I have to pop an Excedrin before I dare to venture into that food-filled jungle. It is truly impossible to just go in and out of an HEB. There are always so many customers and so few opened lanes, that each time I shop there, I always promise myself it will be the very last time I go walk through those doors.

"Stampede on aisle 3"

But in Laredo, HEB is pretty much the only grocery in town.

I have no other options. HEB is the only grocery store in this city. With no competitors, HEB can just gouge our eyes and we have to take it up the can because we have no alternatives. There is no Tom Thumb, Fiesta, Kroger's, Minyard's, or any of the countless other national, big-box grocery chains.

What are my options? Super S Foods and Narvaez. Please! Narvaez should not even count because they have closed down several of their locations. As for Super S, well, unless you are paying with the state-assisted Lonestar Card, a hard-working person has no business even wondering unto their parking lot to score pirated DVD's, much less shop for food.

By the way, I know what you're thinking. What about Wal-mart? They don't count for they aren't a true grocery store. Unfortunately, HEB is the only game in town. As has been pointed out before by many others, they have an unhealthy local monopoly on the grocery store industry and I think it's time we all pushed our HEB-carts in unison, make some noise and clamor for at least a Fiesta!

HEB Bumper Carts

While some local competition will be a thorn on the side of HEB, it will be a godsend to the denizens of this county.

This is not Laredo circa 1989. We are definitely ready for a new regional food chain.

Every HEB is always crowded. It does not matter the day or the time, there is always 10,000 people at any given moment. Some HEB's are worse than others (I'm looking at you HEB Zapata Hwy.) Others are mostly filled with families buying 2,000 lbs. of Cheetos and 100 gallons of Pepsi and all on their Lonestar Card.

But what do you think Laredo? What is the worst HEB to shop in Laredo? Which local HEB is the most crowded, loudest, chook-filled with Lonestar Card, buying- in our city?

(HEB Downtown, HEB Guadalupe, HEB San Dario, HEB Del Mar, HEB Saunders, HEB Zapata Hwy,  HEB McPherson aka Gucci-b, HEB Plus)

La Hechicera

"Para terminar esta bronca ya voy a travesar valles y fronteras,

 como un alguecil, ire tras de it, voy a comenzar por Laredo, Tejas".

 Back in the day, my cousins always played this song everytime we got together or every time we went to a Quincenera or boda. Now thinking back to those days, I often wonder where time has gone and why I no longer attend as many weddings as I did in 1990.

 Do people not get married as often? Have weddings gone passe? Why can't I go to a nice boda at Roli's and dance the night away as if it was 1989?

Oh, sorry for the reminiscing. It's just the Monday evening blues.

Baseball and Elena

     "How can you watch baseball on TV? It's so freaking boring," Elena muttered as she sat on the sofa beside me. It was a Wednesday night and I had invited her over to my apartment for some TV and tacos. Her long dark hair flowed freely over the shoulder as she reached across the coffee table  toward the remote control.

 
     " What are you doing?" I asked as she was about to flip the channel.

     "I'm going to look for the football. Pre-season started." Her response irritated me.

     "Pre-season?" I quipped getting annoyed at her changing the channel during the 7th inning of the Ranger's game.

    "Calm down, Gabito. I'll put it back in a minute," Elena smirked, noticing I was becoming visibly upset. If it wasn't for her 36c's, I would have gladly found a reason to show her the door.

     "You're the only boyfriend I've ever had that prefers baseball over football," she continued as she splashed open a cold can of Pepsi. At this, I couldn't help but roll me eyes. I was beginning to regret inviting her over to my place during such a crucial game with a divisional foe.
   
     After witnessing my obvious discomfort, Elena finally changed the channel back to the Ranger's game. "There, you happy now?" she groaned.  We sat quietly on the sofa watching the baseball game for a few minutes, but she quickly began to grow fidgety and impatient.

   Elena finally suggested, "How bout we watch wrestling instead?"

     "Wrestling? Really, Elena? What is this, 1989?" I asked incredulously.

  She bursts out with laughter, no doubt recalling some Ultimate Warrior wrestling bit from back in the day. At this point, I can see that this relationship is going to have its bumps along the road.

    Then, she looked at me with a serious face and uttered, "All you have to do is learn to watch football and wrestling and we can get along just fine."

     I took the remote control from the coffee table and flipped the channel to the wrestling program.

    "There," I told her, "we can get along just fine."

     "She finally smiled at and placed her head on my shoulder. On TV, grown men acted like fools, bodily slammed each other, and yelled fabricated dialogue.

     "The things I do for a fine pair of 36c's" I thought to myself. Maybe wrestling isn't so bad.

Lalo's Sportsman Club "El Pozo"

How come I'd never seen this place before?

Sometimes I find myself driving aimlessly around town and I come across a building that I had never seen before. Days ago, I was navigating down Lane St., north of the old Mercy Hospital, and I spotted this business that bills itself as Lalo's Sportsclub. According to their sign, they have been around since 1944, although I had never paid any attention to it in all the years I had been driving in the general area. I'm sure this is a fine establishment but from the looks of it it has seen better times during the days of World War II.

With a name like "El Pozo", how can I pass that up?